Those Green Eyes
by AlwaysAndForeverAfter
Summary: Catarina Valentine finally convinced her father to take her with him to the Adolecent Psychiatric Ward where he works. Cat sees a pair of hypnotic green eyes and wants to know more about the mysterious girl to whom they belong. But Dr. Valentine knows that this girl is dangerous, and the last person he would want his daughter around. So, what happens when the two fall in love?
1. Chapter 1

**So, i know that i'm currently in the middle of a Glee FanFic, but this idea sorta came to me and i know that i needed to get it started or i never would. I was in the middle of doing my psych homework when i got to thinking about just how crazy some of the charactors on victorious were, and this was born.**

**So, every charactor will appear in this as a main charactor, but of course, this is a Cade story.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Daddy!" Cat whined, stomping her foot against the linoleum kitchen floor. "You promised you'd let me go with you."

Mr. Valentine sighed as he finished butting butter on his bagel. "Catarina, we've had this conversation many times before. It's not a place for girls like you."

Cat huffed and sat down at the kitchen table, taking a sip of her chocolate milk. "But I want to go, Daddy. Your work sounds so interesting."

Mr. Valentine laughed. "I work in a psych ward, Catarina. Not Disney World."

Cat looked over at her mother, making coffee on the kitchen counter. "Mommy, will you _please_ talk to him?"

Ms. Valentine smiled at her husband. "You did promise her you'd take her."

"Honey," he said, looking at his red-headed daughter, "some of those people are honestly sick. You don't want to see it. I'm doing this to protect your innocence."

Cat rolled her eyes. "I'm 18, dad. You can't protect me forever."

Ms. Valentine shrugged and took a seat at the kitchen table with her husband and daughter. "Maybe it'll be good for her. She's right. You're sheltering her. Maybe you should let her see that the world isn't always all happy sunshine and rainbows for everyone."

Mr. Valentine paused for a moment. "Fine. Tomorrow. If you really want to come to work with me, you can come with me tomorrow. But you have to listen to all of my rules and do as I tell you at all times," he said, knowing his daughter very well. She had a tendency of doing some pretty stupid things.

Cat clapped her hands excitedly and smiled before throwing her arms around her father's neck in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you so much daddy!"

The next morning, Cat was awake at 5, and dressed and had eaten breakfast by 5:30. She was already down in the kitchen playing Temple Run when her father came in for his coffee.

"You sure you want to go, sweetie?" he asked, getting the milk from the fridge.

Cat paused her game and looked up at him. "I'm positive, daddy. I want to go. I want to see what you do."

He sighed and poured the coffee in a to-go cup and secured the lid. "Okay, get in the car."

The entire car ride was of Mr. Valentine telling Catarina the rules.

"No cell phones with you in the halls. You can leave your phone in my office. You'll walk in the halls with me, at my side. If any of the patients talk to you, smile and be respectful, but ignore any rude comments. You'll be hearing some inappropriate things. If any of the boys make catcalls or whistle at you, ignore them.

"I have a few meetings with some patients today, and you won't be able to come with me for those. The meetings are confidential. I spoke with some of the other workers there and you'll be able t go hang out in the art room or the music lounge for that time. The nurses have my pager number, so if you need me, you'll find one of them.

"Lunch time is in the cafeteria for all the patients. We'll go in there to get food, but we won't have to eat in there with them. We'll go to the doctors' lounge. Sound good?"

Catarina nodded and watched as the car pulled up to a large metal gate that seemed to magically swing open in front of them as the car pulled up.

"Daddy," she asked, "Is this place really as scary as you said it is?" Mr. Valentine parked the car and got out before walking to the other side to let out his daughter. Even though Catarina was 18 years old, Mr. Valentine could always pretend that she was still the little girl she was years ago. Despite the fact that she had dyed her long brown hair into a hot magenta, she still dressed in pale pinks and bright hues, had the voice of an innocent angel, and was short enough that her head barely reached to her father's shoulder.

The two of them began walking towards the front door. "The place isn't scary, Catarina. It's just… sometimes the people are. Sometimes, these people don't have control of themselves. They're here because they need help. It's never the disease that's scary, but what it does to you."

Cat frowned as they entered the building. The antiseptic smell of a hospital filled her senses. "What do you mean?"

Mr. Valentine shook his head. "Maybe if you talk to some of the patients, you'll figure that out on your own."

A smiling blonde at the front desk looked up at them. "Good morning Doctor Valentine," she said, voice warm and happy. Cat put on a friendly smile. Sometimes, she forgot that her dad was actually _Doctor_ dad. "And this must be your daughter," the woman continued.

She stood up from the desk and walked over to Cat and extended a hand. "I'm Brittany. It's wonderful to meet you."

"Catarina," Cat said, shaking the woman's hand.

The beeper on her father's belt made a noise and Cat looked up at him.

"That means that it's officially wake up time for the patients and that they're going to be getting their morning meds." Cat nodded. "Come on, let's go to my office."

The two of them walked through the long white corridors. Apart from the occasional nurse who smiled and greeted the father-daughter duo, the halls were empty. When they turned a corner, there was a window mounted into the wall and a line of about 20 teenagers standing in front of it.

Cat watched as the bored man behind the window would put some pills into little plastic cups and hand them to the teenagers for them to take. They'd spill the pills in their mouths, and then after a moment would open up and show the man their empty tongues before heading off.

Cat looked at the kids. They all seemed so… normal. A boy with shoulder-length black hair wearing a long-sleeved tan jacket looked over at her and nodded. She smiled at him. She saw two girls who looked so much alike that they could be sisters bickering over something. One was very thin and dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweats, while the other had her hair wrapped up almost completely in a scarf. Apparently, the girl with the scarf took the other girl's bracelet or something without asking. Another boy with braided hair looked at Cat with a shy smile before quickly averting eye contact and turning towards a tall, awkward looking fella with curly black hair and thick rimmed glasses.

From what her dad had always told her, Cat had expected to see monsters. She was expecting screaming, crying patients who were throwing fits and there was lamps flying through the air. Cat thought it would be a total…. Loony bin, for lack of a better term.

The last thing she expected to see was kids that looked like the people she would see every day in school.

They were just about to turn the corner to head towards Dr. Valentine's office when a strange door caught Cat's attention. While every door in the hospital had a large window on the front that offered next to no privacy, this was gave you only that. The door was entirely white with the exception of one tiny window that couldn't have been more than four inches high and six inches across.

Cat's father continued walking down the hall. Cat knew that she could follow him, but curiosity got the best of her.

Her mother always joked that "curiosity killed the Cat." While Catarina hoped the outcome wouldn't be true in her case, she understood it completely.

She walked over towards the white door and had to stand on her tiptoes to see into the window. The inside looked like any of the other rooms in the hospital, from what Cat had seen through the transparent doors. There was a single cot, a toilet, and a dresser. The walls were bleak and white. At first, there was no movement in the room. And then, Cat found herself staring deep into a pair of bright green eyes.

Cat stepped back and heard herself gasp. Her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest. She took a moment to control her breathing and stepped closer to the door. This time, on shakey feet, she raised herself back onto her toes. Once again she was met with the emerald eyes.

The eyes were powerful. They hid something deep inside them that made Cat feel like they could see _through _ her. The thought sent chills through Cat's very being. She was in awe of the eyes. She desperately wanted to see the person to whom the eyes belonged, but was only granted the small space of the window. She watched as the outside corners of the eyes lifted, as if the mysterious person was grinning. No, _smirking _ at Cat. Cat just barely felt the corners of her own lips lifting to meet the smile when she heard her father.

"CAT!" he almost yelled, he quickly hurried to his daughter's side and grabbed her hand, yanking her away from the door, and away from those green eyes. "What were you _thinking_?!"

Cat frowned and looked down at the ground in front of her. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I just…" Cat felt the unwelcomed sting of tears behind her eyes. She never did particularly well when she was being yelled at.

Mr. Valentine knew this and ran a hand through his hair as he took a calming breath. "It's fine, sweety. You just had me worried. One minute you were right there with me, and then the next you were no where to be found."

Cat did not lift her eyes. "Sorry. I shouldn't have left."

He chuckled lightly. "No, Catarina. You shouldn't have. Come on. Lets go to my office."

They walked only a few steps before curiosity got thebest of her once again. "Daddy," she asked. "Who is in that room?"

Mr. Valentine glanced over at his innocent daughter. "That room is the isolation room. We leave that room for our most… concerning patients. Most all of them are free to walk around the hospital as they please, so long as they abide by the rules, but some are special cases that need to be watched more carefully."

Cat thougt back to those eyes. So deep and… inexplainable. The eyes were harsh and cruel, but held a softness in them that Cat found hypnotic. Surely no person who needed isolation like that would be the owner of those eyes.

"Well," Cat said with a frown, not liking her father's answer, "What'd she do?"

They stepped into her father's office and he took a seat in the warm, brown leather chair. "Cat," he sighed, "It's nothing good. It'd really just be best if you didn't know. You don't need to know. All I can say is that girl is dangerous."

He reached into his drawr and pulled out a notepad and a pack of colored pens. "Here," he saidm handing them to Cat. "Draw me something pretty."

Cat sighed and uncapped the pink pen and began drawing swirls that turned themselves into flowers. After a quiet moment she asked, "Can I at least know her name?"

Dr. Valentine looked at his daughter. She never lifted her eyes from her paper as she continued to draw. He knew that he had told her to interact with some of the patients in the wing, but this was the last person he would want his little Catarina interacting with. He read the girl's file. He has sessions with her four times a week. This girl is as close to a monster as any person her age could be.

"Jade," he finally said. "Her name is Jade."

Cat smiled and closed her eyes. "Green."

Mr. Valentine frowned and watched as Cat capped the pink pen and reached for deep green. "What?" he asked.

Cat continued smiling as she began to draw with the green. "Jades are green, just like her eyes. Such a beautiful green."

**Reviews make me happy :)**

**(((and maybe they'll motivate me to update faster ;) )))**


	2. Chapter 2

**Holy crap you guys. One chapter and 12 hours after positing and i already have more reviews than i've ever gotten. Love you guys, and i'm _soo_ glad you guys like the story idea. Especially since this is not only my first Cade FanFic, but also my first Victorious one.**

**And, i don't use a Beta, so all of my mistakes are my own. I appologize for them. I noticed a couple when i went back to reread that chapter after i posted it. i tried to fix up all of them in this chapter, but i'm sure i missed a couple.**

**This chapter is a little shorter, but it's setting up for the next one. So, i really hope you like it :)**

* * *

Cat colored for just a little while longer before the ringer on her dad's phone went off. He took the glasses off his nose and shut the folder he's been looking through for the past half hour.

"Kay, Sweetie. That's my cue," he said, reaching over to grab a notebook and briefcase and standing up. "So, I'll show you to the art room, and you can hang out in there for a while and I can take care of this patient, okay?"

Catarina smiled and stood up. "Kay kay," she sang, skipping out to the door. As if she had only just remembered, she stopped in the doorway and glanced to her left, down the hall. Her eyes landed on the white door that concealed the green eyes.

"Catarina," her dad called, a few steps to her right. "Come on. I don't want you to get lost and I can't be late for this."

Cat looked at the door for a little longer before turning and following her father down the opposite corridor. It wasn't long before they reached a large room. There were three large round tables, easels lining the back wall, three large windows letting in ample amounts of sunlight, and paint and markers _everywhere_.

For Cat, this was heaven.

"Katie," Mr. Valentine called. A bright-eyed brunette all but skipped over to them.

"Dr. Valentine," she sang, "always a pleasure to see you."

He smiled at her in return. "Likewise." He put a hand on Cat's thin shoulder. "This here is my daughter, Catarina. You said it'd be alright if she hung out in here with you for a while."

Katie clapped her hands in excitement and her eyes glowed brightly. "Yes of course! Catarina, it's lovely to meet you. I hope you like art."

Cat smiled at the friendly woman. She her face and body looked like she was somewhere in her mid to late twenties, but her eyes were aged; as if they had seen the whole world and now were beyond a level of exhaustion.

"You can call me Cat," she said. "And yeah. I love drawing."

"Well that's wonderful. So, we'll let your father get to work. He's such a busy man."

Mr. Valentine chuckled and leaned down to place a kiss to Cat's fiery hair. "See you later sweetheart."

"Bye daddy." Catarina let Katie lead her into the room. Some of the kids who she saw on line waiting for their medication were sitting at one of the tables. Catarina slowly walked up to them.

"Hey," she said with a friendly smile. The tanned boy with the shaggy black hair looked up at her and smiled first. "You guys mind if I sit here and hang out for a bit?"

The very thin brunette looked up. "Nope. Go right ahead."

"Yeah," the boy said. "We don't bite much."

Cat grinned and took a seat, reaching for a sheet of paper and some markers.

"I'm Cat," she said, uncapping the red marker and beginning the outline of a flower.

"I'm Beck," the boy said. "And this is Tori. Are you new here?"

Cat shook her head. "No, I'm not a patient. Uh... my dad is Dr. Valentine. I'm just visiting for the day."

Beck nodded. "He's a cool guy."

"Yeah," Cat chuckled. "The _coolest_."

Tori grinned. "He's actually really nice. And he listens. He gets up, you know? I mean, I think that makes him pretty cool in my eyes."

Cat smiled. She knew that her father put a lot of his time and energy into the work he did at this hospital. Not a day went by without Cat hearing about some short snippet of an event he thought was funny or exciting or 'groundbreaking'. She knows that her father would do anything for the teenagers in this facility, and she was glad to get the chance to hear their side of the story.

Conversation fell over them easily, and they talked about normal things: celebrities, food, Cat's school and the schools they left behind, their drawings. Cat found herself really liking them the more she was getting to know them.

"You're a pretty good artist," Beck said, nodding at the picture Cat had in front of her. She looked down and smiled. She barely even realized that she had drawn the green eyes. They weren't the same, of course. I mean, the shape and size was almost completely accurate. But, they were missing something. Cat couldn't get the emotion into her paper.

"Thanks," Cat said with a smile. "So, do either of you guys know anything about that girl in isolation? Jade?"

Tori glanced over at Beck, and he smiled. "I thought those eyes looked familiar," he said.

"Yeah," Tori added. "We know Jade. What about her?"

Cat shrugged. She wasn't just going to tell these people to tell her about Jade. She _did _want to know everything she could figure out about this girl, but she wanted to learn it for herself.

"Does she ever come out of that room?" Cat asked.

Tori shrugged and reached over for a water bottle on the table. "Sometimes. I mean, we don't get to see her too often, but it's not like she's in their permanently. That'd just be torture."

"How do you know about her?" Beck asked.

Cat felt a familiar blush rise to her cheeks. "I uh… I was looking around and I saw the door, so I looked into the window, and she was just staring right at me. And her eyes…" She glanced down at her paper as her words trailed off.

Beck nodded. "Well," he leaned in close and brought his voice to a whisper. "Today is Wednesday. In about…" he glanced up at the clock above the door, "12 minutes, she is going to be in the music room."

Cat felt her heartbeat quicken. "Really?"

Could she do it? _Would_ she do it? Her father had mentioned that the girl was dangerous. But, how could someone that dangerous have those eyes? Her father had said not to walk off on her own. Would she actually go to try to get the chance to talk with Jade?

"Is anyone ever in the room with her?" Cat asked.

Tori shook her head. "No. She has the room to herself every Wednesday at nine in the morning. And she asked that no guards come with her either."

"What does she do in there?"

Tori shrugged. "Wouldn't know. Never saw it, and I never cared enough to ask."

Cat nodded and thought for a minute. "How do I get there?"

Beck smiled. "In 7 minutes, we're switching for lunch. Everyone in here is going to go to the cafeteria, except Tori. She'll show you the way."

Cat looked at Tori and the brunette nodded. For the next seven minutes, all Cat felt in her stomach were butterflies.

She probably second guessed herself about twenty times. In her mind, she knew this was a bad idea. Her dad told her not to run off on her own, and he flat out told her that this girl wasn't safe. But even though Cat knew all of that in her mind, she just didn't care. She needed to see that girl. She needed to talk to her; to hear her voice.

"Okay guys," Katie called, glancing up at the clock. "Go on down to the cafeteria for lunch." Everyone stood up and began walking down the hallway to the left towards where Cat assumed the cafeteria was, but she and Tori took a right.

After a short silence fell over them, Cat asked, "Why don't you go to the cafeteria with everyone else?"

Tori's posture stiffened visibly for a moment before relaxing slightly with an uncomfortable chuckle. "Because I don't eat." She turned her head to look into Cat's eyes as she said. "I'm anorexic. I go to eat in a different room so that I don't have all of those people looking at me, because it makes me nervous to have them watch me eat. And this way, the stupid doctors can watch me to see if I eat anything at all."

Cat felt her lips move to a small 'O' shape, not quite knowing what to say. She took a look at Tori and, for the first time, really _saw_ Tori.

Cat noticed from the start that Tori was exceptionally thin, but Cat had never noticed just _how_ thin. Her cheekbones stood up against her skin as if the skin was stretched over them, exposing everything underneath. The girl looked like she was swimming in her clothes, which covered nearly her entire body. She looked like if Cat reached out to give her a hug, the girl would shatter like a rose dipped in liquid nitrogen. Fragile beauty.

They reached a n intersection in the hallway. "Okay," Tori said. "I go left, you go right. It's the last door all the way at the end of the hall. You'll know it when you see it."

Cat nodded and watched as Tori disappeared out of sight. Cat let her small feet carry her down the hall. When she was about halfway there, a delicate sound reached her ears. The closer Cat got, she could make out the sound more. It was the gentle melody of a piano.

Cat reached the room and looked in through the glass window and saw Jade, sitting at the piano. The girl was stunning beyond words. Her pale white skin looked like porcelain, standing out in stark contrast with the loose black curls that fell past her shoulders. She was dressed completely in black. Much to Cat's dismay, her eyes were closed as she played. Her body unconsciously swayed with the music as her expert fingers danced along the ebony and ivory keys.

Cat was basically in a trance.

She had no idea how long she was standing there, but before she knew it, the room was silent, and a pair of emerald green eyes were looking back at her.

**Bum. Bum. BUM... haha. love ending stuff like this. **

**I hope you like it! time to go to school now. lol. Except, now i'm running late because i'd rather post this than do my makeup like a normal person.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow you guys are so awesome! i love reading the reviews. you're so sweet :) I'm so glad you guys are really enjoying this story. it's really fun to write. i tend to like writing things that are a little darker and a bit more twisted, so i think a lot of that is going to come into play with Jade's personality and her past, along with the histories of the other charactors that i'm going to incorperate. so i think this is going to end up really interesting.**

**i need to say though, i haven't been this excited about something i was writing in a long time. i'm so glad you guys like it as much as i do.**

* * *

Cat was staring. She knew it. Her mother always told her that it wasn't polite to stare, but it wasn't like she was doing it on purpose this time. The girl sitting in front of her was stunning beyond words that Cat could possibly comprehend.

Everything that Cat had envisioned in her mind about the person who would be the owner of those amazing green eyes couldn't even live up to the reality that was _Jade_. Those green eyes were piercing through Cat like tiny needles that were aimed directly at her soul, prying into her and reading her innermost thoughts without Cat even needing to make a sound.

The right corner of Jade's lip curled up into a smirk , and her eyes narrowed in that same way as Cat had first seen them through the tiny window on the door.

"Are you stalking me now?"

It took Cat a while to register the fact that Jade had spoken. If she had thought that the green eyes were amazing, they almost didn't compare to the melodious quality of Jade's voice. Cat could only describe it as velvet. On one side, it was rough and harsh, scraping against Cat's very being. And then, there was a flip side that felt soft and inviting.

"Are you mute?" Jade asked. It was then that Cat noticed she hadn't spoken yet.

"N-no," she stammered. "I di- I'm sorry."

The smirk never fell from Jade's lips. "The girl can talk," she said, thick sarcasm dripping from her tongue like hot wax.

Cat couldn't find the words to say. She could sense Jade's amusement. Something in her eyes seemed playful. The expressions changed with the colors in her eyes like water on a stained glass window; swirling together.

"Are you gonna tell me your name?" Jade asked.

"Catarina. C-Catarina Valentine."

Jade pursed her lips together. "Valentine. Like Mister Doctor Man."

Cat nodded once.

"So, is the doctor's daughter crazy now, or are you just here for shits and giggles?"

Cat looked down at the ground, finally managing to break away from the addicting gaze that was Jade. "I'm just visiting."

Jade nodded once. "Why are you here?"

Cat looked back up. "I just wanted to see where my dad worked. I've heard so much about it, but I've never been here before."

A smirk rose again in Jade's eyes, never meeting her lips. "I _mean_, why are you in _here_ with _me_?"

Cat felt a blush rise into her cheeks and her palms sweating. "I'm uh… I'm sorry, Jade."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows together. "How do you know my name?"

Cat's eyes quickly shifted down to the ground and she shifted uncomfortably. "I asked my dad."

Jade nodded. "What did he tell you about me?"

Cat sensed something defensive at the edge of Jade's voice. Something sharp and angry, yet afraid.

"He didn't tell me much," Cat said. "I asked, but he wouldn't tell me. He just said that you were in isolation. He didn't say why."

Jade nodded. "And you just found me here through dumb luck?"

Cat looked up at Jade and she smiled sheepishly. "I met Beck and Tori, and Beck kinda told me that you would be in here."

Jade rolled her eyes. "And you saw that as permission to come _join_ me?"

Cat fell victim to Jade's hypnotic stare once again and couldn't find it within herself to break the gaze. There was just something about this girl that Cat couldn't get enough of. Soft chocolate mixed with piercing emeralds as their eyes remained locked onto each other.

"I didn't think you'd mind," Cat said honestly.

Jade laughed, dark and bitter. "Then you obviously don't know me very well."

"I'd like to," Cat said. Be quickly raised a hand to her mouth when she realized the words that had tumbled from her lips. That was probably one of Cat's biggest faults; she never thought ahead before she spoke. Words simply raced from her mouth before she could even attempt to contain them.

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" she asked. "I don't think you're gonna like what you find." Her words like daggers, this time, aimed at herself.

"Why do you say that?" Cat asked.

Jade grinned. A full on grin showing teeth and all. "I don't know if you've heard, but I'm pretty fucking scary. And I don't know about you little girl. You look a little too innocent to be messing with people like me."

Cat swallowed audibly. "I'm a lot braver than I seem."

Jade scoffed. "Brave? You're tiny and cute. That doesn't exactly equate to brave."

Cat batted her eyelashes and grinned. She watched Jade's gaze shift to the dimple on Cat's left cheek. She saw the tiniest hint of a smile on Jade's lips before the features composed themselves to an expressionless porcelain face.

"You think I'm cute?" Cat asked, her high-pitched voice lilting.

Jade rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself Catarina." Cat felt her stomach do flips at the way Jade said her name. Each syllable flew from her tongue like delicate butterflies, and each sound rolled over the others like the melody of a song.

Cat quickly realized that the emerald green eyes weren't the only addicting thing about this girl. _Everything_ about her was addicting.

"You can call me Cat," she said. "Most people call me Cat. My dad calls me Catarina, and that's just because he's my dad."

Jade grinned. "I get it. My name is Jadelyn, and the only person who calls me Jadelyn is my father. Mainly because regardless of how many times I insist he calls me Jade, he ignores it."

Cat smiled. "You see your dad often?"

Jade's gaze hardened. "I haven't seen him since they admitted me here."

"How long ago was that?" Cat asked.

"Eight months."

Cat nodded. She wanted to ask Jade what she did. She wanted to ask what someone like Jade could possibly have done to earn solitary confinement. But, she didn't know how to phrase it without sounding too invasive or simply, inappropriate. How do you ask someone what horrible thing they had to have done to earn themselves a reservation in a windowless room with almost no social contact?

Cat's father said that this girl was a monster, but Cat just didn't see it. Monsters aren't beautiful.

"You play piano very nicely," Cat said. "I always wanted to learn to play the piano, but it didn't work out for me." She lifted a hand out in front of her and giggled. "I have tiny fingers."

Jade didn't acknowledge that she heard Cat speak. She just stared at the redhead. "So are you just going to stay here in the room with me?" she asked.

Cat frowned. "Is it okay if I do?"

Jade laughed. "I'm not quite sure if you understand the meaning of _solitary_ confinement, but I'm not exactly supposed to _interact_ with the other people here. Not more than necessary at least. And especially not with the young innocent daughter of the doctor. Innocent little girls who don't even belong in a hell hole like this."

Cat frowned. "And why is that?"

Jade grinned. "Some people might be afraid that I would hurt you."

Cat shook her head. "I don't think you would do that," she said, surprised at the certainty behind her voice. "I don't think you would ever hurt me, even if you wanted to. You seem nice."

Jade laughed. This wasn't her dark, bitter chuckle from before. This was a full-hearted, throw-your-head-back type of laugh. "I was right," she said. "You know _nothing_ about me."

A short silence fell over them before Cat spoke again. "You never answered my question."

Jade frowned. "What question."

"Whether it'd be okay with you if I stayed in here with you for a while."

Jade paused. "Do you always look like that? Pastels, pigtails, and a way too happy smile?"

Cat giggled and nodded. "Pretty much."

Jade rolled her eyes and gave out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Whatever. You can stay." She turned around and began playing the piano again.

Cat smiled and remained standing where she was for a moment and just watched Jade play. Then, her feet seemed to move for her as they slowly brought Cat's body closer to the black baby grand I the middle of the music room. Cat took a seat on the bench beside Jade, their shoulders touching. Jade's music faltered for a bit as she skipped over a note and her eyes shifted quickly over to Cat's, but she resumed playing.

Cat recognized the melody and began swaying to the music. "I like this song," she whispered.

Jade chuckled and continued to play. The last few stanzas echoed through the room and Jade took her fingers off the keys and turned around so she was straddling the bench, facing Cat. Cat turned and mirrored Jade's position, taking a few strands of her bright red hair into her hands as she watched those emerald eyes unabashedly take in all of Cat's body.

"I don't get you," Jade finally said. "You're weird. I mean, weirder than the typical weird I see in this shit hole."

Cat frowned and dropped the hair, letting it fall back against her shirt. "How am I weird?"

"You've been in this room with me for ten minutes, knowing that I'm psychotic enough to have to be separated from the rest of the human population, you're not scared of me at all, and you haven't even asked me what fucked up shit I've done to land my ass in here."

Cat winced as Jade spat out the expletives, but didn't say anything.

"Don't you want to know?" Jade asked.

"Of course I do."

Jade shook her head. "Then why haven't you asked me?"

Cat shrugged. "You'll tell me when you want me to know. Until then, I don't need to know."

Jade looked at the girl once again, staring at her for a moment before sighing. "I really don't get you at all," she said.

Cat giggled. "Is that a good thing?"

"Well…." Jade considered the question. "It means I haven't gotten bored of you yet, so that's a good thing. Depending on your definition of good, that is."

"If it means that you want to spend more time with me until you manage to figure me out, I think it's a very good thing."

Cat watched Jade's lips curl into a smile. Cat reached over to grab onto Jade's hand.

"NO!" Jade screamed, standing up from the bench. Cat's eyes were wide in fear and she clutched her hand close to her body, watching Jade.

"NEVER touch me," Jade yelled. Panic coursed through her eyes.

"Okay," Cat whispered. She didn't understand it, but she accepted it. Tears stung in her eyes and she fought to keep them from falling.

Jade saw this and sighed. "Don't cry," she said, voice trying to become gentle. If Jade was going to be honest, she wasn't exactly skilled in the area of comforting people, but she felt bad for making Cat cry. Jade slowly reached a hand out and ran her fingers through Cat's hair.

"Soft," she whispered, watching as the bright red cascaded through her porcelain fingers.

Cat frowned and watched Jade's peaceful expression. "But-"she sniffled. "You're touching me."

Jade sat back down, still playing with Cat's red hair. "I can touch you. You just… you just can't touch me. Okay?"

Cat opened her mouth to ask why, but closed it and nodded.

Jade chuckled and pulled her hand away. "What?" she asked.

Cat nodded. "You'll tell me why when you decide that you want to tell me."

Jade smiled and turned her head as the sound of footsteps approached them. "Hey Doctor V," she called.

Cat turned around and met her father's worried eyes. "Cat," he said cautiously. "What are you doing?"

Cat could see the complete panic and shock in her father's gaze. She knew that Jade saw it too. Jade's body stiffened and her eyes hardened.

"Just talking with Jade," Cat said. "She's really nice."

From the corner of her eye, Cat saw Jade's lip turn into a smile.

Her father mirrored that smile, though his was clearly fake. "Well," he said, clearing this throat. "I'm glad you're making friends."

Lies. All Cat heard were lies.

"But," her father continued, "Jade is my next appointment. I've got a thirty minute session with her, just to chit-chat. So, why don't you go back to the cafeteria and grab something to eat and make some more friends down there, okay sweetie?"

Cat looked over at Jade before looking back at her dad. "Okay daddy."

She stood up and Jade stood up after her and grabbed her by the wrist. She was completely surprised when Jade pulled her into a hug. It was an awkward, uncomfortable hug, but still a hug.

Cat soon understood why when she heard Jade's soft voice in her ear. "After the session I have another half hour. Next to the art room is a closed door to a staircase. Take the stairs as high up as they go. I'll meet you there."

Jade pulled away from the hug and stared into Cat's eyes to make sure the little redhead understood. Cat frowned and furrowed her eyebrows as she thought about the information, but then gave Jade a subtle nod in agreement. She turned back to her father and found him staring at the two girls. This time, his eyes weren't just fear. They were fear and curiosity.

Cat skipped towards the door and gave her dad a kiss on the cheek. "See you later daddy," she called, and skipped all the way to the cafeteria.

**Wow. Two updates in one day. that's a personal first. i'm litterally writing this constantly. i'm so glad you like it and i'm really excited to be writing something like this.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Have i mentioned how much i love you guys? I'm not kidding when i say that your reviews make me smile. i just love seeing the fact that i've written something others actually _enjoy_ reading. your kind words really do mean a lot to me.**

**So, i know that there are quite a few people who were waiting for this chapter. Mainly, the last scene of the chapter. I don't want to give too much away, but you find out a huge chunk of Jade's story.**

**I'm excited to see your reactions!**

**enjoy 3**

* * *

Four wrong turns and a little help from a nurse later, Cat found her way back to the cafeteria. Her dad had said that Cat could go eat lunch in the doctors' lounge, but she'd much rather eat in here with the patients. There was talking and laughter and it made Cat smile.

She walked over to the lunchroom-style buffet table and her stomach started growling. Spending all that time with Jade must have distracted her from the fact that she was hungry. And, even though the food doesn't look particularly appetizing, the smell alone was a loud reminder that it was almost noon and she hadn't eaten since five in the morning.

She was piling some fries onto her plate when she heard a voice behind her.

"It tastes better than it looks."

She turned around and smiled when she saw Beck. "Hey," she said. "And yeah. I'm hoping it tastes as good as it smells."

Beck smiled back at her. He reached walked over and reached down to grab a bottle of water. Cat watched as the long tan sleeve of his jacket rode up slightly, revealing jagged red lines across his entire arms. Old scars and fresh cuts mingled together, changing the very texture of his skin from the smoothness that it should be to something almost unrecognizable.

She quickly averted her gaze, knowing what her mother had told her.

It's not polite to stare.

Beck turned and looked at her. "Come sit with us," he said. Cat grabbed a bottle of apple juice and followed him to a table.

The kids sitting with him were some people she had recognized from seeing earlier in the day. Beck took his time introducing them all. The girl who looked like Tori was indeed her sister, Trina. The scarf was still wrapped around her hair like it was earlier today, but Cat now just realized how there were golden flecks of glitter in the fabric that made Trina's skin glow like caramel. The boy with the braids was Andre. He didn't seem to talk much, but that was okay with Cat. The few times that he did talk, his voice was like deep silk. It was comforting and smooth. Robbie was the dorky boy with the glasses who made Cat smile. He seemed a bit… off, but it was charming in his own way.

"And I'm Cat," Catarina exclaimed with a smile once all the introductions were over. She took a seat beside Beck. As he continued eating, Cat couldn't help but steal glances at his arms, watching the self-inflicted wounds.

Once or twice, Cat was sure that she caught Beck watching her look at the cuts, but he didn't say anything. He didn't do anything to cover them. Cat thought that was brave of him.

She wasn't stupid. She knew what self-harm was. She knew that it was something that a lot of people struggle with and that it's something many are of. She knew how brave it was of Beck that he was aware of Cat noticing and him simply not caring enough to hide them. They were a part of him, and Cat loved that he embraced his past like that.

"So how was Jade?" he asked suddenly, making Cat look up and meet his eye. Robbie and Andre looked a little confused, but Trina was in complete shock.

"Jade?" she asked, emphasizing every individual sound. "You hung out with _Jade_?"

"Yeah," Cat admitted, taking a fry into her mouth. "She seems nice."

Robbie started laughing. "My first day here, she tripped me, blamed me for being a klutz, grabbed me by my shirt, pinned me to a wall, and threatened to rip my eyes out and eat them if I don't watch where I'm going."

Cat frowned as Trina nodded. "Yupp. That sounds more like her."

"Does she have like, anger problems?" Cat asked. "I mean, wasn't mean to me at all."

Beck shrugged. "Something like that. But hey, if she's nice to you, then why not. Be friends with her. The world knows she could use a friend."

"Well," Cat said, "She told me to meet her again."

Andre raised his eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Where?" Robbie asked.

"She didn't say _where_ exactly," Cat explained. "She told me that there was a staircase next to the art room and to take the stairs as high as they go and that she'll meet me there."

Beck smiled. "That's a special place for Jade."

Cat frowned. "Where is it?"

He laughed. "I don't want to spoil the surprise."

"When are you supposed to go meet her?" Trina asked.

"When she gets out of her session with my dad. So, I guess right about when lunch is over."

As if a signal from above, a whistle blew from the other side of the room and a voice called, "Okay guys, lead on out to your activities."

People started picking up their trays and throwing them in the garbage before piling out into the hallway like a sea of bodies.

"You ready for this little red?" Beck asked with a grin. "You're going to go hang out with the big bad Jade all by yourself."

Cat rolled her eyes and smiled. "I don't know why everyone keeps telling me that she's this horrible monster. She seems sweet. A little troubled, sure. She totally freaked out when I tried to touch her."

Andre's eyes went wide. "You tried to _touch_ Jade?" He picked up his tray and said, "You must have a death wish or something," before turning to throw his things away and heading out of the large room.

"What'd she do?" Trina asked. She reached her hand up to push some more of her hair into the scarf so that it disappeared from sight.

Cat shrugged. "She yelled. Told me not to touch her. It made me cry, and then she sorta apologized and said that she was allowed to touch me, but I couldn't touch her."

Beck nodded. "Yeah. Jade's been though a lot. I don't want to get into her shit and explain everything to you, because it's totally not my place, but don't touch her. She gets uncomfortable when people touch her."

"Oh," Cat said, heading out the door with Beck. "You guys friends?"

He chuckled. "Something like that. I tried to be a friend to her, but she kept pushing me away. She wasn't in isolation right away when she got here. I've been here for almost a year now. Not a year all at once, but first three months, then four, then 2, and things like that. Chunks of time. When Jade got here, she looked interesting. And then she started doing some crazy chiz and the staff thought she was too mentally unstable to be around people so often, because she might hurt them."

Cat looked shocked. She noticed that they had made their way to the art room and were standing in front of the very door that she was supposed to go through.

"She's hurt people?" Cat asked.

Beck shrugged. "Like I said. It's really not my place to tell her about her crap. I'm just gonna say this. If I thought it wasn't safe for you to go up there, I wouldn't let you."

Cat was going to say something in response, but Beck turned around and started to walk away. After a few steps, he turned around and said, "Oh, and when you go up there, if you think that you're in the wrong spot, I promise it's not. That's Jade's place." Then, he rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.

Cat took a breath and walked through the door, finding a grey stairwell. With an internal shrug, she began to climb to the top.

There, she found a windowless door. She put her hand on the knob and pushed, and was immediately awarded with a huge burst of chilly air whipping her hair across her face like bright red flamed. Cat wrapped her arms around herself. She was only in a flimsy t-shirt, and Jade had invited her to the roof of the building.

She stepped away from the door and further out onto the roof. From up here, she could see all of Los Angeles. The hospital wasn't in the city, but it was nearby. The building had enough floors to go high enough that Cat could see the tall buildings rising high above the ground.

Cat was always in love with the idea of living in a big city. Hollywood was great, but she always saw herself in New York. Cat loved the lights and the people and the noise. The loved the excitement. Her father always told her that Cat was too naiive and innocent to move away to New York City by herself, and that after high school, she would be better off just going to a local college here.

Cat hated those words. She hated the fact that the whole world saw her as a "naiive and innocent" child who couldn't care for herself.

Cat was more than that. She knew it. But other people didn't see it. Ever.

Even Jade, after knowing Cat for no more than five minutes, decided that Cat was too _innocent_ to hang out with her.

Cat walked closer to the edge. She couldn't fall off, of course. The roof had a barrier. So, she stood atop the building, leaning her elbows above the high concrete wall. The wind whipped her hair in every direction and picked up the hem of her shirt like gentle fingers. She looked out at the silver and glass buildings sparkling in the sunlight, just like how Jade's eyes sparkled with so much emotion. Cat pushed herself up on her toes so that she could see the ground below. So very far below.

"The walls are that high for a reason," a voice from behind her said, shaking her from her thoughts.

She turned around and saw Jade watching her. She was leaning against the closed door with her arms crossed around her chest. Jade was dressed more for the weather. Rather than a simple tshirt like Cat, Jade opted for what looked to be a black tanktop under a black sweater. She wasn't shivering like Cat felt she was.

"You come up here a lot?" Cat asked. Jade detached herself from the wall and sauntered over to the edge next to Cat. She nodded simply, staring at the world over the concrete barrier.

"It's a good place to think," Jade said.

"Think about what?"

Jade paused. Cat noticed how Jade's aura seemed to change. She brought her arms in closer together and her back curved slightly, as if she was caving in on herself.

"You were thinking when I came up here," Jade said, her voice smaller than Cat remembered it ever being. "You ever think about how high up you are, and what'd it be like to jump?"

Cat stared at the girl. Her skin seemed to sparkle in the natural light more than it did in the artificial fluorescence of the hospital. Her plump lips were curved into the slightest frown.

Cat shook her head. "Have you?"

Jade nodded. "A few times. I like to come up here and just think about what it'd be like, you know? Falling through the air like that. I think about what would be running through my mind in those short seconds that would pass between my feet leaving the building and my body hitting the ground. Would my life flash before my eyes? Would I be reminded of all the crap I've done? Would the universe punish me for being a terrible person?"

Jade turned her head to look at Cat, and Cat couldn't help but think about how Jade had never looked more beautiful than she did in this moment. Her face was vulnerable. She was opening herself up to Cat. And the sunlight was right behind her back. The way she was standing, it was like the sunlight was a liquid that was cascading over her. It made a halo in her hair and the fine hairs on her arms glow golden with light, like they were on fire.

"I don't think you're a terrible person," Cat said.

Jade laughed. "You don't know what I've done."

Cat shook her head. "That doesn't matter to me. We are who we are because of the experiences we have, but those experiences don't define us. The things you did don't define the type of person you are. They're just events."

"Would you still believe that if I told you I did some horrible things? Would you say that I'm not a terrible person if I've told you that I hurt people? A lot of people. Hurt them more than anything could ever hurt them in this world."

Cat didn't know what to say to her. She didn't know how to confront whatever demons Jade was carrying within herself, and Cat wasn't even sure if it was her place to do that.

"Are you going to tell me what you did?" Cat asked, her voice small.

Jade shook her head. "No. Not today. You're different. You're not afraid of me. There are way too many people who are afraid of me. They see me as some sort of uncontrollable monster. I like the fact that you see me as a person. A person who is a little screwed up in the head, but that's still better than being a she-wolf. I don't want to tell you yet because I'm not ready to have another person think I'm a monster."

Cat paused for a minute. She looked Jade straight in the eye and began to move her hand slowly. Jade's eyes watched the hand approach her as it gently placed itself on Jade's forearm, acting as a forewarning of the bodily contact. Cat sighed in relief when Jade didn't pull away.

"I don't care what you did, Jade," Cat said. "I don't think you're a monster. Maybe other people do, and maybe you do, but you can't be a monster."

Jade looked at her quizzically. "Why not?"

"Because monsters don't realize that they're monsters."

Cat gave Jade a friendly smile before pulling her hand away and heading to the door. She opened it and turned around to face Jade again. "You know I'll be back, right?" Cat said. "I'm not ready to let you go yet. You'll see me again soon."

Cat closed the door behind her as she headed back down the stairs, leaving the green eyed girl on the rooftop alone.

She walked through the hallways she was finally beginning to get to know and found her father's office. He was sitting his desk with his glasses perched on his nose while he looked over a file.

"Daddy," she said, walking into the room and taking a seat in the chair opposite her father. He looked up at her and smiled.

"The city is pretty, isn't it?" he said.

Cat frowned. "What?"

"One of the nurses came by to tell me that she was watching the camera monitors and that she saw you walking up the stairs to the roof. And, that a few minutes later, Jade went up after you."

He paused like he was waiting for her to answer him, but Cat had nothing to say.

"Catarina," he said, taking his glasses off and setting them on the desk beside him, "she's not the person you should make friends with."

Cat rolled her eyes. "I don't see what the big deal is. Everyone keeps telling me that she's scary, and evil, and a big dangerous monster, but she's only ever been nice to me. Daddy, what's _wrong_ with her that you won't let me hang out with her?"

He paused. "Cat, do you know what it means to be a psychopath?"

Cat frowned. She had heard the word, but she didn't know exactly. She shook her head.

"A psychopath is a person who is emotionally detached from the world, in a way. They aren't really afraid of the things that you or I would find scary. They're coldhearted. They're charming and manipulative. They're irresponsible, impulsive, and antisocial. They can't empathize with people and they don't show remorse for the things they've done. Just like Jade."

Cat just stared at her father as he continued to explain. "Jade did something bad. Something very very bad that she, quite honestly, could be in prison for for a very long time. But, she pled insanity. Why? Because she don't feel sorry for what she did. She doesn't think that what she did was wrong. When we tell her that she did a bad thing, she doesn't believe us. Jade is dangerous because she doesn't have the reserves that you or I have. If she gets mad, she won't think twice before physically lashing out at a person, and then she won't even feel guilty about what she did."

Cat shook her head. "That doesn't sound like Jade."

"Cat," he sighed. "You barely know her. I've been watching her for nine months. She has been closely monitored. All of the conversations I've had with her have been recorded. She's a psychopath."

"Daddy," Cat said, "There has to be something wrong. She isn't like that. _Look _at her."

"I've seen her, Cat!" he said, raising his voice at his daughter. Cat recoiled at the anger. "I've seen her multiple times a week for many many weeks. I've dedicated countless hours to trying to dig into her brain and figure her out. Nothing that she says to you hides the fact that she's killed people, Cat."

Cat didn't hear the words at first. They seemed to float right through her and never settle in her mind. They floated around the room, determined not to sink in.

Her father repeated the sentence. "She's killed people, Cat. Three people. In cold blood. She walked up to them and stabbed them multiple times with a pair of scissors, and she doesn't think that she did anything wrong."

Cat didn't say anything. All she could think of were a pair of bright green eyes.

* * *

**Who saw that coming? haha. it just had to be scissors. i thought of a whole bunch of different things, but the scissors just stuck out to me. everyone knows Jade has a facination for them. She's sorta the main reason i thought of the story. i was doing a report on psychopathy, and i was reading over the list of charactoristics, and i just kept thinking about how they seemed to describe Jade perfectly. Don't you think?**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I have nver updated a story as fast as i'm doing this one, but i've never had such a positive reaction to something i wrote. you guys are all just saying the sweetest things. i really love reading your reviews and i'm so glad you like reading this as much as i'm enjoying writing this.**

**So, i know that some people might think the charactors are a little out of charactor. Like, Cat's not smart, but she's definitely not like how she is on the show. Trina is nice haha. stuff like that. And, i know that the charactors are a little different, but that's sorta necessary for the story to go on the way i have it planned. So, i hope you guys don't mind it too much.**

**enjoy :)**

* * *

Cat sat there for a minute longer and let the thoughts sink in finally.

Jade. That girl with the green eyes. The girl who made Cat warm and tingly inside. The girl who opened herself up to the little redheaded girl and showed a vulnerable side that Cat didn't doubt nobody else had ever seen before…

That girl stabbed three people in cold blood.

Cat stood up and walked out of her father's office without another word and headed straight to the art room. She sat down at a table, noticing how Katie eyed her for a moment before continuing with whatever she was doing. Cat grabbed a large piece of paper and some paints and got to work.

Cat loved painting. She always had, for as long as she could remember. She knows that people sometimes made fun of her for it. Cat wasn't known for being particularly smart, so the thought that the girl could be capable of creating anything of any true value was a joke to many. But, a few were aware of the true talent Cat possessed.

She worked on autopilot and let herself get lost in her work. She mindlessly dipped her brush in different paints, paying attention to tiny details more than she did the large picture. Her brush danced in every which way along the paper, leaving behind a trail or color. Small lines, curves, intricate dashes. Everything about painting was cathartic for Cat.

"You might have an obsession," a voice from behind her said. She turned and saw Trina, eyeing the painting. "I mean, I get that she's pretty and all, but there's more to a person than just how pretty they are."

Trina took a seat beside her and Cat looked down at the painting beneath her, staring straight into Jade's green eyes. Cat noticed it was better than her original pencil sketch. Again, the shape and the color was spot on. The difference now was that there was some of the emotion hidden in the green. It wasn't all there, and it wasn't completely right, but Cat knew that it was getting there.

"She's not just pretty," Cat said. "She's beautiful."

"Beauty isn't everything." Trina took a pencil and paper and idly drew swirls and shapes.

Cat watched her for a moment. "Do you know what she did?"

Trina looked up. "Do you?"

Cat nodded slowly, feeling a lump rise in her throat and tears in her eyes. She didn't want to believe it. Trina sighed.

"Yeah," she said, looking at Cat's solemn expression. "I know. Word spreads pretty fast in a place like this. So, what are you thinking now?"

Cat shook her head. "I don't know. I mean, I know what she did. I know that what she did is unforgivable. She can't take it back. And it is terrible and wrong on every single level I could even imagine."

Trina raised her eyebrows. "But…?"

"But I don't hate her," Cat admitted with a shrug. "The fact that she… did that, it doesn't change anything of what I thought about her."

Trina frowned. "Okay… so why are you so upset?"

Cat put the paintbrush down and turned to look directly at Trina. "Shouldn't it? Shouldn't I see her as a threat to humanity and see her as unworthy of whatever it is I feel for her? I shouldn't be okay with what she did. And I'm not _okay_ with it. But I _accept _it. Is that so wrong of me?"

Trina pursed her lips. Cat could tell that Trina was truly at a loss for words. "You know," she said finally, "your father is the psychologist. Not me."

Cat shook her head. "I can't have this talk with him yet. He'll just tell me to stay away from her. He'll tell me to run away before I get too emotionally attached. But I can't just let her get away from me like that. I think that I'm _already_ attached."

"Do you have feelings for her?" Trina asked. "Like, _romantic_ type feelings?"

"I've…" Cat paused. "I've never felt like this about a girl before," she said honestly. "I've dated a couple guys. Had crushes before. Last year, I was in an eight month long relationship and I could have sworn to you that I was in love with him. But those feelings… that love that I thought I felt, it doesn't even begin to compare to what I feel for her. That's crazy right? I mean, I barely know her. And she…"

Cat couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud. Before Trina could say anything else, Katie walked over with something in her hands.

"Hey girlies," she said, "I'm really sorry to interrupt, but this just came for you, Trina." She held out a package to her. "Your mom dropped it off. She said she's sorry she couldn't stop to talk, but she really has to head out to do something for work."

Trina nodded and took the package. "Thanks Katie." Katie smiled at Cat before turning and walking away.

Trina used the point of a pencil to cut through the tape on the box and open it. She pulled out several long, colorful pieces of fabric. "Scarves," she said, smiling sadly. Cat watched her as she sifted through them, eyeing all the shades and patterns.

She picked up a beautiful red and gold one with a tribal design and looked at Cat. "I'm gonna go put this one on." She stood up and started walking towards the door before turning around. "Aren't you coming with me?"

Cat stood up, not realizing at first that the invitation was extended to her. They walked through the halls until they reached what Cat assumed was Trina's room.

It was essentially the same as the others. Bleak, white, with a bed and a toilet. There were a few pictures hung up on the wall with tape, but that's about it. The only thing different about Trina's room is that Cat noticed it was the only one with a mirror. It wasn't high up on the wall like a mirror would be so that you could stand and see yourself. When you stood in front of it, it seemed like it would only be up to your hip.

Trina went and sat down on the floor in front of the mirror. Cat sat down on the bed and watched as Trina lifted her hands and began to unravel the scarf.

Cat noticed that her hair was the same beautiful chocolate brown as Tori's was. It fell in loose curls down to a little bit past her shoulder. But not all of it. There were several chunks of missing hair, or hair that was considerably shorter than the rest, as if it were only growing out. The baldness was uneven and random, more around the sides than anywhere else.

Trina met Cat's eyes through the mirror and Cat averted her gaze.

Her mother's voice rang through her head.

It's not polite to stare.

And then, she heard Trina's voice instead, softly telling her, "its okay." Cat looked up and saw Trina smiling at her softly through the mirror. "I'm really over the whole people staring at me part of it. What's done is done. I can't make this grow any faster."

Slowly, Cat stood up off the bed and walked over to her, sitting down on the ground beside her. She gently lifted her hand and combed her fingers through Trina's brown locks. "Did you…" Cat couldn't say the words, so Trina said it for her.

"Pull it out?" She nodded once. "Yeah. I did. I do. I still do."

Cat touched a part of her hair that was just short tiny pieces, just barely longer than a buzz-cut. She felt the spikiness of it beneath her fingers.

Trina continued talking. "I can't really help it. Most of the time, I don't notice that I'm doing it. I don't feel it. It's just… comforting. They tell me it's an OCD thing. I've been doing it for years."

Cat nodded and put her hand in her lap. Trina reached up and grabbed a handful of her own hair and began plaiting a braid. "I told you beauty isn't everything, Cat. I know that Jade is probably one of the prettiest people I've ever met in my life."

Cat nodded. "It's not just that she's beautiful. She's so much more than that."

"She's complicated. And sometimes she's scary. You know what she's capable of."

Cat nodded. "I know." She watched as Trina wrapped the red and gold scarf around her head, smiling as she tugged the fabric into place. The colors made her tanned skin glow. She placed her hand on top of Cat's and smiled.

"Well, as long as you know that you're in for a bumpy ride, then my advice to you is to jump in. I don't know what you'll find in her dark scary mind, but as long as you're ready for what to find, I'll support it."

Cat smiled and stood up, extending her hand to help Trina onto her feet. "Thanks," she said. Her phone beeped and she looked down to see a text message from her dad.

_I'm calling it a short day for today. Meet me at my office soon to grab your things and we'll head home._

Cat sighed. "Looks like it's my time to leave."

Trina chuckled and she walked Cat out of her room. "I have a feeling this isn't going to be the last time I see you."

Cat smiled. "I promise you that it won't be. I'll see you soon."

The moment Cat got home, she got on the internet and typed the word 'Psychopathy' into Google.

Cat never has been too bright, so a lot of the words being thrown at her were beyond her understanding, but she did get the gist of it.

Her father explained everything to her just right. Psychopathy is associated with anxiety and depression. It's like an antisocial personality disorder. These people have problems with emotions. Sad things don't make them cry. Scary things don't make them scream. The things that make them happy shouldn't make them happy.

But it wasn't all her fault. She wasn't a freak. There were strong correlations with physical neglect as a child and harsh discipline. Or, coming from a disrupted family with delinquent siblings and a low family income. It didn't mean that Jade was a monster.

Cat ran downstairs to her father. "Daddy," she said, out of breath from running so quickly, "Can I go to work with you again next Saturday?"

Mr. Valentine looked surprised. "Really? You want to go back?"

Ms. Valentine looked up from the book that she was reading on the couch. "Did you have fun there sweetie?"

"Yeah," Cat said. "I met a lot of really cool people. Like, Beck, Tori and Trina. They're so nice to me. I told them I'd come back and visit."

Mr. Valentine nodded. "Mhhmm. And what about Jade?"

Cat paused. "Yeah," she said. "I want to see her too. I need to talk to her."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah," Cat nodded. "I need to talk to her. I know what you told me. I know what she did. But, I'm not scared of her Daddy. I know she wouldn't hurt me."

"I don't know if it's a good idea. Cat, you're so trusting. You don't see bad in people."

"Because Jade isn't bad!" Cat felt her heart starting to beat faster. "Yeah she did some bad things, but she's not a bad person."

Cat's father stopped for a moment before speaking again. "I'll think about it. I'll think a little longer about whether it'd be a good idea for you to come back to work with me. No promises, but I'll think about it."

Cat sighed. "Okay. Thanks Daddy."

The week seemed to take forever to pass. The minutes dragged on forever and Cat found herself more lost in thought than usual (which is really saying a lot for her). Every single thought she had was haunted by a pair of green eyes. Every time she heard someone's voice sound anything like the melodious rasp that she associated with Jade, Cat's heart stopped. Every corner she turned and saw someone's back, cascading with loose black curls atop alabaster skin, Cat had to do everything in her power not to run over to them and yell Jade's name.

She knew it wasn't Jade.

It couldn't be Jade.

Jade was locked up in a private room in a mental hospital because she's a psychopathic killer.

Cat still couldn't believe it.

Friday night, Cat was sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework. Pre-Calculus. Probably the hardest class Cat ever had to take. She heard footsteps as her father entered the kitchen and stood behind Cat, reading the math over her shoulder, but she didn't move. She needed to figure out this problem.

"So, will you be up at five again tomorrow morning?" He asked.

Cat nearly jumped out of her skin and dropped the pencil on the table. "You're going to let me come with you?" She asked.

He nodded and smiled at his daughter. Cat catapulted herself from her seat and launched herself at her father, clinging onto his neck in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you so much Daddy!" she said, placing a kiss against his cheek. "Thank you thank you _thank you!_"

He laughed and pried her off of him. "But you better finish your homework first." Cat was immediately back in the chair, working harder on her math homework than she had ever worked before.

The next morning, Cat was dressed and ready and in the kitchen by 5, and she made her father his coffee and put it in the travel mug.

He laughed as he walked into the kitchen. "Well someone is a little excited, aren't they?"

"Kay lets go!" she sang, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him out the door and towards the car.

The car ride was jittery excitement. She had been waiting to see Jade all week. She needed to see her. Jade was like a drug that Cat was hopelessly addicted to; she needed more. The nurses in the hospital all said hello to them as they walked through the hallways towards Dr. Valentine's office.

Cat trailed a little bit further behind her father, saying hi to all the patients she passed by. Beck smiled at her when he noticed her and nodded his head, and Tori came over to say hello and ask her how she'd been. Cat walked through the halls she learned very well. Her breathing hitched in her throat when she saw the door.

_The_ door.

That very door that contained the green-eyed monster.

Cat walked over to it and reached into the pocket of her pink floral skirt and pulled out a note she had written the night before. She read over her pink, curvy handwriting once more.

_We need to talk. Meet me upstairs in 15 minutes._

Cat smiled at the hearts that dotted her eyes as she slid the piece of paper under Jade's door and skipped down the hall to her father's office.


	6. Chapter 6

**You know, i'm starting to think that if i put as much thought and effort into my school work as i'm putting into writing this story, my grades might get a bit better. I highly doubt my stats teacher will find "but i was writing fanfiction!" as a valid excuse for why i didn't do my homework...**

**anyways, i love you guys all so much! your kind words really do mean a lot to me because this story is something i'm seriously crazy about, and i'm jsut glad you guys are all too.**

**So, this is sorta a big chapter, and i'm excited for your reactions.**

**Enjoy:)**

* * *

When Cat opened the door to the rooftop exactly fifteen minutes later, Jade was already up there. She was leaning against the concrete barrier with her arms crossed, staring at Cat with her black hair being thrown in every direction by the wind. Cat couldn't help but wonder if she always looked this beautiful. Her head held high, her smirk filled with rebellion and her eyes bright with secrets.

Those eyes. Those green eyes that could see directly through Cat and sense every little thing that was going on inside her tiny body. The eyes narrowed for a moment in scrutiny before hardening with fear.

"You know," Jade said simply. "You know what I did. Someone told you."

Cat nodded once and took a tentative step closer.

Jade raised an eyebrow. "And?" she asked. "You've come here to tell me I should rot in hell?"

"No," Cat said. "I'm here to ask you to tell me what happened. I want to hear it from you. For you to tell me why."

Jade scoffed. "You think you're my shrink just like your father?"

"No. I care. Just like a friend would."

Jade shook her head and turned away from Cat, staring instead at the brightness of the city on the horizon. "You're not my friend. You barely know me."

"I know enough to know that you're not as bad as the world seems to think you are."

Jade looked up at Cat. "I'm really not a big fan of these emotional type things. Like, open-my-heart-for-the-world-to-see type conversations. They're not really my style. I'm just bad at them."

Cat shook her head. "It doesn't matter if you're bad at it. It's just talking. And I'm a really good listener."

Jade rolled her eyes. "You wanna know the whole thing?" Cat nodded and Jade took a seat on the rooftop right where she was standing and motioned with her hand for Cat to do the same. Her legs carried her to the darker girl and sat with her legs crossed, waiting for Jade to begin.

Jade's eyes were nervous. They would dart in every direction except the one that met Cat's gaze. She took a shaky deep breath and began to talk.

"I guess I should start at the beginning," she said. "I grew up not too far from here. It was always my mom, my dad, my other brother and me. My brother Jeremy. Jeremy and Jade. My mother always sang our names like that, saying that she liked the way they sounded. Anyway, Jeremy was nine years older than me. He started hanging out with some bad people and doing some bad things. He was arrested a couple of times, and then one day, he just disappeared."

Cat watched as Jade fiddled with the hem of her black sweater as she continued talking.

"My parents took it pretty badly. They blamed themselves. After that, life went to shit. I was only eight. Mother turned to drugs and overdosed when I was ten. Father became the ultimate workaholic. Business man in suits and ties with a briefcase and a big office. When I told him I wanted to be a writer, he laughed in my face and told me to get real dreams. He was… harsh. If I screwed something up, it was always a slap in the face or a kick in the ribs. If I had something coming up in school, I knew he wouldn't be there. That's just the way things were.

"So one say I was walking home from school because my dad was too lazy to come pick me up, and these three girls from my school cornered me. I was already having a terrible day, and they started laughing at me and making fun of me for dumb things and were just pushing all of the right buttons at the wrong time. I reached into my bag and pulled out a pair of scissors and stabbed the first girl. She was easy because it was a surprise. The second girl was in shock and didn't even try to run away. And then the third girl tried to run, but I was faster and caught up to her and stabbed her too."

Cat watched as Jade's eyes finally lifted to meet hers. They were so sad. So much pain swirled with shades of green. Cat finally knew the story, but it didn't make things any better. Jade killed the girls because she was angry and couldn't control her emotions.

Cat still didn't want to believe what her father said that Jade was a psychopath.

"So then what?" she asked.

Jade sighed and ran her hand through her long black hair. "I walked straight to the police station with blood all over me and placed the bloody scissors on a detective's desk and told him I fucked up. I told him where the girls were and held out my wrists and waited to be cuffed."

Jade watched Cat. They sat there in silence as Cat took in the entire story and pieced together what she learned, and Jade sat with her eyes on the little redheaded girl

"Do I scare you yet?" she asked, her voice was sad and bitter.

Cat shook her head. "No. I know you should, but you don't. You're not scary, Jade."

Jade rolled her eyes and laughed. "Maybe you're just too dumb to see that I'm a fucking terrible person."

"Or maybe I'm smarter than everyone else when I say that you're nothing like a monster," Cat said with a strong voice.

Jade stopped laughing and looked at Cat for a minute longer. "That first day," she said, "that first time you saw me through the window. What did you see?"

Cat frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Whatever you saw, it was enough to make you want to ask Beck about me and then for you to hunt me down to the music room and hang out with me, and then for you to trust me enough to meet me up here on the roof that first time. Why?"

Cat thought for a minute. "Your eyes."

Jade furrowed her brows. "My eyes? What about them?"

Cat shrugged. "Something about them just seemed so magical and complicated and deep. They're bright and dark at the same time. They're scary and vulnerable. They're so deep and powerful that it makes me feel transparent. It makes me feel like I can say nothing at all and you'd be able to see every little thing inside of me and know all of my deepest secrets."

Jade paused and looked deep into Catarina's eyes. "You wanna know what I see when I look at you?"

Cat paused for a moment and chewed her lip like she had to think about it, and then firmly nodded.

"I see the only person I have ever met who came face-to-face with the darkness in the world and didn't let it take away her innocence."

Cat smiled and scootched closer to Jade on the ground. "So, you said you wanted to be a writer?" she asked. "What type of writer?"

Jade lay down on the cold concrete rooftop and stared out into the clouds. "A playwright. Or a film writer. Something like that. I like the idea of writing down what I see in my head and then getting to watch it come to life in a play or a movie. You know?"

Cat nodded and lay down beside Jade, close enough that their shoulders were touching. Jade stiffened for a moment before Cat felt her body relax and turn so that she was on her side, facing Cat.

"What about you?" she asked. "What big dreams does Catarina Valentine have?"

Cat smiled and turned her head so she could see Jade with her cascading black hair flowing perfectly in the wind. "I've always wanted to act," Cat said. "Broadway and theatre have always felt like the perfect place for me."

Jade laughed and Cat turned so that she was mirroring Jade's position. "That seems perfect for you," Jade admitted. "A big stage requires a big personality that is outlandish and a little weird."

Cat giggled. "My turn to ask a question?" she asked.

Jade nodded slowly.

"Did your dad hit you, like a lot?" she asked. Her words were slow and precise, like she was afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Jade never broke their gaze as she nodded once.

"Is that why you're afraid of people touching you?" Cat asked. "Because you think they might hurt you like he did."

Jade's eye dropped to the ground in a wordless answer.

Cat cleared her throat. "Is it… uh, is it okay if I touch you?"

Jade looked up at Cat and waited. Seconds felt like days and Cat finally lifted her arm and placed a featherlike hand on Jade's hip. Jade felt the warmth that was Cat through the material of her sweater.

"Your turn," Cat whispered. She didn't know why she did, but whispering seemed appropriate. Like, maybe this was something private. It was just the two of them on the rooftop in the middle of the morning and nothing in the world mattered.

"Okay…" Jade closed her eyes and thought. Cat focused on how her eyelashes delicately dusted the tops of her cheeks. No one in the hospital was allowed to wear makeup, but Jade's lashes were naturally so long that she wouldn't ever need them.

"You're not straight," Jade said.

Cat laughed. "Did someone forget how to form a question?"

Jade opened her eyes and smirked. "It's more of an observation, really."

Cat smiled. "Well, that's complicated, I guess. I mean, I don't really know what I am anymore. I never really doubted the fact that I was straight until…"

Jade lifted an eyebrow as Cat's voice trailed off. "Until?"

"Until I met you." Cat shrugged and looked down as she felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

Jade smiled, knowing that Cat couldn't see her. "Your turn," she said. Her naturally deeper voice took on a smoky rasp when she lowered it to a whisper.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you?"

Cat felt her heart fluttering in her chest like a bunch of out of control butterflies. She watched expressions flicker behind Jade's eyes. One right after the other, fighting for dominance were fear, hope, guilt and joy. She closed her eyes and nodded.

"Yeah." Her words came out so softly that they were almost inaudible.

Cat nervously licked her lips as she shimmied herself closer to Jade, feeling the heat emanating off the darker girl's body. The gentle hand she had placed on her hip now snaked its way around the curve of her waist as Cat's full lips pressed against hers.

Cat wasn't one to read much. But, every romance novel she did read were full of stories and descriptions of love that Cat believed didn't exist beyond written word. Cat was convinced that those firework inducing, brain melting kisses never existed in real life. That is, until Cat kissed Jade, and then her entire perspective of love was flipped upside down.

Cat pulled away for a moment, catching her breath before she kissed Jade again. She felt Jade smile against her lips and Cat pulled away further.

"Wow," she breathed. "That was…"

"Yeah," Jade said with a shaky laugh.

Jade smiled and pulled Cat closer to her, and the redhead felt Jade's heartbeat as the two of them rested like that on the rooftop, watching the clouds move slowly across the sky.

"I never asked you if you were straight," Cat said. She felt Jade's body vibrate with a deep chuckle.

"Is that even a necessary question to ask?"

Cat tilted her head so that she could look at Jade's face and smiled. "No," she admitted, "but it'd be a nice thing to know."

"I'm gay," Jade said. "Lesbian. I like girls. I can't really think of any other way to say it."

Cat nodded and snuggled in closer to Jade and soon found herself drifting off to sleep to the sound of collective breathing.

When Cat work up, the sun was higher in the sky and she vaguely registered someone saying her name.

"Catarina!" A hand lay against her shoulder and shook her from her slumber.

"Huh?" she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes with her hand. She felt Jade stir from under her and smiled at the realization that they fell asleep cuddling like that. She watched Jade rub the sleep from her eyes as well and Cat turned to see that her father was the one to wake them.

"I'd love to say good morning to you girls," he said, "but it's eleven o'clock."

"Sorry Daddy," Cat said. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. It kinda just happened."

He smiled weakly. "I can see that. Well, it's nice to see you two getting along."

Cat stood up and smiled at Jade as she helped the taller girl up onto her feet. Jade brushed off her black outfit and ruffled her hair a bit. "Yeah, Cat's pretty cool, Dr. V"

"Daddy," Cat asked. "Is Jade allowed to leave?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Like, is she ever allowed to go on a trip or something? Leave the hospital for a day, or over night?"

"Uh-," he stammered. "Well, yeah. Yes, she would be is someone with guardianship over her were to sign her out for a short period of time, she could technically be released into their custody. Why?"

"Cat," Jade said. "My dad isn't gonna ever sign me out of here. He's never even come for a visit."

"I wasn't thinking about your dad," Cat said with a smile. "I was thinking about mine. You have some sort of guardianship over her, don't you daddy? And the hospital knows she'll be in good hands with you there watching her."

Mr. Valentine was shocked. He really didn't know what to say. "Cat. I mean, what do you want to do that you guys can't be here in the hospital?"

Cat shrugged. "We could get frozen yogurt, or go see a movie, take a walk in the park… lots of things!" Cat's excitement was almost tangible.

"Cat," Jade sighed. She placed a hand on Cat's shoulder to try and stop the girl from bouncing around so much. "I really don't think your father is gonna sign me out just so we can hang out like normal people. I'm too much of a liability."

Mr. Valentine's eyes shifted from Jade's gentle hand on his daughter's shoulder to Cat's sad eyes and the mental image of the two of them cuddling in their sleep on the rooftop. He's known enough about Jade August West to see has as a danger to society, but spending even this short amount of time with his daughter has changed everything he ever _thought_ he knew about her.

"You know what," he said suddenly, making both girls look at him. "I'll look in to it. I'll talk with the hospital dean about what he thinks about me signing you out for the day."

Cat jumped up and down and wrapped her arms tightly around Jade. Mr. Valentine knew that Jade didn't let people touch her, and was shocked to see her smile and place a hand on Cat's back while his daughter expressed enough happiness for the two of them.

**taadaa! haha i'm excited. even though, i already know what's going to happen. I'm still excited to write it down. hope the kiss wasn't a dissapointment to those of you who were imagining their first kiss having gone any differently.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I can't even explain to you guys how happy your reviews make me. I'm super glad you all seemed to react positively to that last chapter. i was afraid that it was going to be a bit too fluffy. Jade pretty much is a personified version of Angst, so i wasn't too sure if making her all fluffy unicorns with Cat was a bit too out of charactor.**

**But i'm so glad you all seem to like this so far. I love reading every single one of your reviews. They make me smile every time. You truly are the best.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Cat spent the entire rest of the day with Jade. They were in the music room, the art room, one of the lounges, and even in Jade's room. Cat noticed that her father seemed to make sure that there was always a nurse not too far away.

She didn't mind the fact that he wanted them to be watched, but she was still bothered by the fact that he didn't trust Jade.

They were sitting in the music room and Jade was teaching Cat a few things about the piano when her father came in.

"Jade," he said, getting both of the girls' attention. "May I have a word with you in private?"

Jade glanced down at Cat before standing up from the piano bench and walking over to Doctor Valentine.

Cat tried to listen in on their conversation, but they were too far away. Cat's father had led them out the door, probably knowing his daughter's habit of eavesdropping. She looked out the windowed door and saw her father talking and Jade nodding multiple times. She didn't say anything. There was almost no facial expression.

After a few moments, Jade and Cat's father walked back in to the room.

"Sweetie," he said. "It's time to go home now. I've got a lot of paperwork I need to look over."

Cat frowned and looked up at Jade. "But I don't want to leave yet."

He smiled. He honestly was still beyond confused about the strange connection between his daughter and the murderous teenage girl, but there was no doubt that the connection existed.

He watched as Jade leaned forward and placed a feather-like kiss to the top of Cat's red velvet hair. "Go," she said.

Cat nodded and stood up. "Bye Jadey," she said, and followed her father out the door.

In school, all she could think about was Jade. Thoughts of her homework were haunted by green eyes. She couldn't concentrate on the afterschool activities she loved, like chorus and the drama club, because Jade was always the only thing on my mind.

It had been two days since Cat saw her last, and it felt like she was an addict going through withdrawal.

Saturday morning, Cat woke up and stumbled down the stairs to the smell of pancakes. Her pink and yellow stripped pajamas were all rumpled and her hair went in every which direction with the worst case of bed head in the world, but Cat just wanted pancakes.

She was about to round the corner into the kitchen when she heard her mother's voice.

"So," she said. Cat heard the sound of a plate being set on a table. "Writing screen plays sounds so fascinating. What genre are you most interested in?"

Cat's heart stopped at the sound of a dark chuckle. "Would it be inappropriate for me to say horror, given the circumstance? I mean, it's not the gore. I don't have a problem with gore, but I don't want vomit inducing movies. I like horror movies that scare you so much that you pee a little. It's not about the blood and guts. It's about the atmosphere and the mystery."

Cat wanted to peek her head around the corner and just see. Just _check_ to see if her mind was playing tricks on her of if _Jade West_ was really sitting at her kitchen table with her mother.

Of course, Cat's mother spotted her daughter immediately (damn florescent hair) and smiled. "Catarina sweetie. Good morning. We have a visitor."

Cat watched as Jade turned around in her seat and smiled. Cat's face flushed and she quickly reached her hands up to try and fix her hair, but she knew it was no use.

"Morning," Jade said with a smirk, lifting a cup of steaming coffee to her lips. "Surprised to see me."

Cat giggled and walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the table and pulling a plate towards her. "Actually, yeah. I am." She piled pancakes onto her plate and began to drown them in maple syrup. "So the hospital people are okay with you signing Jade out, Daddy?"

Cat's father looked over at her and nodded. "Yeah. After Jade's court trial, her father insisted that he no longer wanted custody, so she became custody of the state. And, since she's currently in our facility… there are no legal reasons why she can't be signed out by me."

Cat smiled and continued to eat her pancake. "So, what are we gonna do today, Jadey?"

Jade grinned. "Well, anything you want to do really. I mean, I feel like I've been out of the real world for so long now that I don't even know what to do."

Cat smiled as her mother put a mug of chocolate milk in front of Cat and she took a sip before talking. "Well, then we could go see a movie, since you haven't been to the movies in a while. And we can go to the mall and buy you some new clothes, since you haven't been shopping. And we can go to lunch at one of my favorite little restaurants, and then we can go to the park and take a walk, and then-"

"Cat," her mother laughed. "Don't you think that's a bit much to squeeze into one day?"

Jade smiled. "How about, we hang out here for a bit, picnic at the park for lunch, shopping, and then we'll go out for dinner somewhere."

Cat smiled and downed the rest of her chocolate milk. "Deal!" she squealed. She jumped out of her seat and grabbed Jade by the hand and began dragging her up the stairs to her room. Mr. Valentine watched the two girls laughing.

Ms. Valentine began to clean up the dirty dishes and place them in the sink. "Seeing her and talking to her makes it really hard to believe half of the things you've told me about her," she said.

Her husband nodded. "I know. Seeing her interact with Cat changes everything that I've ever learned to expect from Jade. It's like, Cat is bringing out a side of her that I never thought existed."

Ms. Valentine smiled. "Well, you and I both know that Cat does have the tendency to bring out the best in people."

"I know," he said. "But I also know that she has a habit of finding good in people even when there's nothing good about them."

It wasn't until Cat closed the door to her bedroom behind her and Jade that she suddenly started to get self-conscious about what Jade would think. Just looking at the two girls would show there's an obvious difference between them.

Jade was dark. She was the pitch black night sky, illuminated with only a few bright stars. Her skin was a pale alabaster, her eyes bright green and her lips a rosy red, but everything else was black. Her clothes from the oversized off-the-shoulder long sleeved sweater to the ripped jeans and studded combat boots, was completely black. Her hair was black, and the star she had tattooed on her inner forearm was pink and black.

Cat was the opposite. Cat was loud colors and bright prints. Her hair was a bright magenta-from-the-bottle and her smile was contagious. Her room of course, was no different.

Each wall was a different color: hot pink, teal, bright yellow, and orange. The bedspread was purple and sparkly, and currently unmade. All of the stuffed animals that usually sit on the bed were tossed haphazardly on the floor where Cat had thrown them last night as she made her way into bed. There were beaded scarves and strings of rainbow lights all around the room.

Seeing Jade's eyes smile made Cat's stomach do nervous backflips.

Jade took a seat on the bed and smiled at Cat.

"Too much color?" Cat asked.

Jade shook her head and chuckled. "I wouldn't have expected anything less."

Cat smiled and the nervous knots in her stomach untied themselves. "Well, I should probably get dressed. Give me a second."

Jade watched with an amused smirk as Cat all but danced around her room, grabbing things from various drawers and she pulled some random colored clothing from her closet and headed towards the door.

"Be right back," she said. "The remote to the TV is on my nightstand. Turn on whatever you want."

Cat disappeared behind the door and Jade grabbed the remote, smiling as the TV flickered to life at the push of a button.

Jade had access to a TV in the hospital, of course. But she didn't watch TV there much. For two reasons. The first being that she had other things to do, such as playing piano, writing music, working on a script, and just thinking.

The second reason was that the TV was in one of two shared lounges, and Jade wasn't too big a fan of spending more time with people than she needed to.

Especially with people like Trina who would much rather watch some celebrity reality show rather than a movie of actual quality.

Jade flipped through the channels and realized that she didn't really recognize many of the shows. That's one of the things she hated most about being in the hospital. She was basically separated from the outside world. She was exiled. She had no relationship with anything going on in pop culture. She didn't know much of current songs being played on the radio. She hadn't seen any new movies released in the past eight months, since the day she walked into that police station with blood on her hands.

Jade never felt like she truly belonged in the world because she was just so different, but at least then she could pretend like she was. Now, she didn't even know what was _going on_ in the world.

She flipped through the TV guide and decided on a channel.

"I'm back!" Cat sang, belly flopping onto the bed beside Jade. Jade laughed as she took in Cat's outfit. The colors were obscenely bright. A lime green shirt with blue polka dots over a pair of hot pink shorts.

Jade couldn't help but think about how the outfit should look ridiculous, but it just looks perfect on Cat.

Cat frowned. "The news?" she asked. "Out of everything in the magical TV world, you chose the watch the news?"

Jade shrugged and propped a pillow up against Cat's headboard for her to lean back on. "Just catching up with the world, I guess. Sorta need to get back into the swing of things."

Cat nodded and lay down, looking at the TV screen. She wasn't exactly the type of person to ever watch the news.

"Hey Jade," she asked softly. She ran her fingers up and down her purple glitter comforter. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

Cat looked up and saw Jade staring at her with just the tiniest hint of a smirk playing at her lips. Cat rolled her eyes and smiled.

"You know what I mean!"

Jade laughed. "Sure Cat. What's your question?"

"So, how long are you supposed to stay in the hospital for? You've already been there for so long."

Jade sighed. "Cat, situations like mine aren't really taken lightly. I mean, technically, I should be in prison for the rest of my life. But, because I was a juvenile when it happened and I plead insanity, the situation was switched up."

Cat waited for Jade to elaborate, but she never did. "So how long?"

Jade shrugged. "Until they think I'm sane enough to contribute to society and not go on a crazy murderous rampage."

Cat nodded. "So there's no date for your release?"

Jade turned back to the TV. "Nope," she said, popping the P. "Nothing set in stone."

Cat paused for a minute. She raised her hand and pointed. "There, in the bottom drawer of my dresser are probably a hundred DVDs. Pick one out and we'll watch it. Anything you want. Your choice."

Jade crawled to the edge of the bed and leaned her torso forward so that she was basically completely handing off the bed, but her knees were still making contact with the glittery purple material as she was stretched to almost her entire height. She reached her hand into the drawer and blindly pulled out a DVD.

After finding a way to climb back onto the bed, she read the cover. "The Hangover?" She asked.

Cat laughed. "It's funny. You'll like it."

Jade gave her a look. "How would you know?"

"Just trust me."

After two hours, Jade realized that maybe Cat knew her a little better than she thought she did. More than once, the two girls were almost in tears, laughing at the obscenity of the film.

When the credits started rolling, Jade laughed. "That was probably the dumbest thing I've ever watched."

"And you loved every second of it." Jade rolled her eyes at Cat's contagious smile.

"I gotta pee," she said, standing up from the bed. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Take a left down the hall and it's the last door on the right."

Jade nodded and headed out the door and Cat sat herself down at her vanity mirror and started to do her makeup. The next thing on her and Jade's itinerary was a picnic at the park. Cat wasn't one to be too obsessed with appearances, but she was a bit of a girly girl and loved playing with her makeup.

She had finished with one eye and was almost done with the other when Jade walked in.

"Woah," she said. "Didn't think you could make your eyes look any bigger, but that makeup sure does the trick."

Cat uncapped her mascara and began to apply it generously. "You wanna do your makeup?" she asked.

Jade walked over to the table and picked up some of Cat's eyeliners. They were colored. Green, purple, blue sparkles…

"Uh, you have any black?" she asked with a smile. Cat finished her mascara and reached into one of her drawers.

"I don't really use this one that much," she admitted, handing it to Jade. Jade started doing her eyeliner and Cat watched.

"You know," Cat mused, "If you used purple, it'd make your eyes look even more green."

Jade reached for the mascara and shifted her eyes so they met Cat's through the mirror.

"Really?" She asked, putting mascara on her naturally very long lashes.

"Yupp. It's a color thing. The purple is so opposite of the green that it brings out the colors. Different color families."

Jade screwed the top back on the mascara and batted her eyelashes at Cat. "That," she emphasized, "is very interesting. An art thing?"

Cat nodded. She stood up from the chair and headed towards the door. "Come along Jadelyn. A picnic in the park awaits us."

Cat turned and started to walk down the stairs and Jade followed, thinking about how her full name didn't sound nearly as horrid when it was Cat using it.

They walked into the kitchen and there was a picnic basket sitting on the counter.

"Hope you girls don't mind," Ms. Valentine said with a smile. "I packed some sandwiches. Jade, you mentioned being a vegetarian, so I decided to go safe with peanut butter and Nutella, is that okay?"

"It's more than fine, Ms. Valentine. Thank you."

Ms. Valentine smiled. "There's also some cookies and water bottles. Have fun."

Cat grabbed the basket and gave her mom a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks mom."

Before they could head out the door, Mr. Valentine called out from the living room. "Cat, can I speak to you for a second?"

"Sure dad," she called. She turned to Jade and gave her the basket and the keys to her car. "It's the bright blue one," she said.

"Of course it is," Jade laughed and headed out the door.

Cat walked into the living room. "Whaty?" she asked.

"Cat, if you think something is going wrong, or if Jade scares you, or anything that you think is bad starts happening, call me or text me your location, and I will come. Or, if things get _really _bad, dangerous type bad, call the police."

"Dad," Cat huffed. "You need to stop freaking out. I'm safe with Jade. She wouldn't hurt me, and she's not a bad person."

She turned on her heel and walked out the door before her dad could say anything else.

Cat walked out the door and hopped into the driver's seat of her car.

"Everything okay?" Jade asked as Cat began to pull out of the driveway.

"Yupp. My dad is just a big worrywart is all."

Jade nodded and looked out the window. Cat reached to the dashboard and fiddled with the radio.

"OOH!" she squealed. "I _love_ this song!"

Jade smiled the entire drive to the park, listening to Cat sing.

* * *

**So, it may have been a bit ambitious of me to try to bang out this chapter all at once. Especially since it was a case of extreme multitasking and doing ridiculous amounts of AP Psych and AP Stats homework ((these teachers are going to be the death of me)). So, i do appologize for my inevitable mistakes that seem to come along with my fatigue.**

**But still, i do sincerily hope you are all enjoying Cade's first "date" so far. The rest of it will be in the next chapter.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks again for the reviews and the favorites! it really means a lot.**

**So, this chapter is considerably shorter, which i do appologize for, but i liked the way it ended too much to add more. So, that'll be in the next one.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Jade watched as Cat reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a blanket to lie out on the grass.

"You know," Jade began, "your father is really bending the rules right now."

They took a seat and Cat pulled out the sandwiches, handing one to Jade. "What do you mean?"

"It's enough that he signed me out for a while, but the hospital board would flip a shit if they realized that he was sending me out into the world without supervision."

Cat shrugged. "He trusts you."

Jade started laughing. "Come on. We both know that's not true. He pees himself a little bit at the thought of you and I being alone together."

Cat grinned sheepishly. "Well, yeah, but he's not here now."

"He's probably hiding in the bushes somewhere."

"Well, then let him watch us from afar. Doesn't bother me. Whatever it takes so that I get to spend time with you." Jade blushed before she took a bite of her sandwich.

"You always such a sap?" Jade asked.

Cat pursed her lips in thought before nodding. "Yupp. Pretty much."

Jade laughed and the two fell into an easy conversation. Jade needed to admit that she was enjoying finally being out of the hospital, even if it was just for a short while. She knew that she was going to be sitting inside her lonely white room before nightfall.

Until then, she was content with feeling the sun on her face and the sights of children laughing as they ran around the nearby playground. She watches as Cat ripped one of the sandwiches to pieces and fed it to a duck who bravely sauntered up to them.

Cat was giggling and Jade couldn't help but smile.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Jade looked up and saw a woman looking down at her. The woman's bleached hair was thrown into a messy bun and she wore way too much eye makeup for Jade's liking. Jade noticed how she was missing a tooth and her chapped lips were cracking. She looked like I mess.

"We've never met," Jade said with certainty, and turned back to Cat, who was watching with a curious expression.

"But I'm sure that I've seen your face somewhere," the woman insisted. "A face like that ain't a face you forget easy."

Jade stood up. At 5'8", she was considerably taller than the woman, and she hoped this made her seem threatening enough.

"Go away," Jade insisted. "You're creepy and weird."

Jade watched as recognition and fear seemed to flash through the woman's eyes. "Oh my gawd," she said. "You're that girl who was all over the news a while back. The crazy bitch who murdered those three girls."

Cat watched as Jade's fists balled at her sides and here entire body stiffened.

"They let a nutjob like you out of jail already?" the woman asked.

"Wasn't in jail." Jade spoke slowly through clenched teeth.

"Oh right," the woman said. "They shoved you in a loony bin." She motioned down at Cat. "That your next victim?"

At that, Cat stood up and took a step closer to Jade. She watched as Jade reached out and pushed against the woman's shoulder, causing her to stumble a few steps back.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Jade yelled. Cat looked into Jade's eyes and saw fire. The woman took another look at Jade before turning away.

"Damn psycho bitch," she mumbled.

Cat saw that Jade was still visibly shaking. "Jade," she said delicately.

Jade whipped around and turned to face her. "What?" she snapped. "You gonna fucking tell me to calm down?"

Jade felt her heart beating in every part of her body. It was like she herself was pulsating with each thump. She felt a pair of invisible hands grasping at her chest and squeezing her heart, causing a tightening that made it hard to breathe.

"Maybe that's not a bad idea," Cat said. Her voice was calm and soothing, but it wasn't doing anything for Jade.

"The woman is fucking right," Jade said, turning away from Cat. She bent down and picked up a rock and threw it as far as she possibly could. "I'm just a crazy bitch. A psychotic murderer who was too crazy to hang out in prison so they all but stuck me in a strait jacket in a padded room."

"Jade." Cat's brain told her to take a step closer. She was obviously hurting and Cat wanted to comfort her in some way. But, her feet wouldn't move.

"No, Cat! Don't you fucking get it?!" Jade started walking around the area where their blanket was, raising her voice with every word. Cat noticed that she had gotten the attention of most everyone at the park and that mothers started corralling their young children closer to them to try to protect them from the out-of-control girl.

Jade kicked at a row of daisies and watched the petals scatter on the ground. "Your father is right! I'm too fucking dangerous to be trusted. He shouldn't have let me here with you alone, and he sure as hell should have never let me out of that crazy place. That shit hole is made for people like me."

Cat felt tears starting to sting at her eyes. Jade turned her back and Cat reached for her cell phone. She didn't want to do it, but she knew she had to. She typed out a quick text to her father and continued to watch Jade.

Jade had never physically felt the way she feels right now. She felt like she was being choked from the inside. She was growing lightheaded, but attributed to the ungodly volume at which she was yelling. Her throat burned with every sound, but she loved the pain.

She threw the water bottles across the park and kicked at the beautiful picnic basket Cat's mother had packed for them.

Cat. Jade couldn't believe that she was flipping out in front of Cat like this, but she saw the true Jadelyn August West. This was the Jade that everyone feared. This was the Jade that was a monster.

This Jade killed three teenage girls who did almost nothing to provoke her.

Jade watched as a familiar car sped over to them. She turned and faced Cat.

"You called your father," she stated. Cat nodded briefly. "You scared of me yet?" Jade asked. Her voice was dark and cynical.

"No," Jade said. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid for you. There's a difference."

Jade was going to say something, but Dr. Valentine carefully stepped close to the girl. He took her by the hand and pulled her close to him. Before Jade could push the man away, she felt a sharp stinging in her arm and looked down to see a syringe sticking from her skin.

"It's a sedative, Jade," he explained. "I'm sorry I had to do this, but it's for your own safety."

He held up Jade's weight as he helped her into the back seat of the car. She was struggling to keep her head up and eyes open, but she managed to see Cat climbing into the passenger seat and watching Jade with worry in her face.

Cat's concerned expression was the last thing Jade saw before slipping into a world of darkness.

* * *

**Sadly, all good things must come to an end, even Cat and Jade's first date. There's no way i was going to let their relationship be all smooth sailing. Jade's still got a lot of issues to work out.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's chapters like this one remind me why i love writing.**

**I don't want to give too much away, so i'm just gonna say that i absolutly love all of you who are following this story and who tell me how much they like it. my words will never be enough to express how happy that makes me.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Cat's mother glanced around the corner of the kitchen and into the living room at her daughter. The last forty-five minutes were hectic. Her husband got a text from Cat and he ran out the door, frantic. Soon after, the car pulled back up to the house. Cat stepped out alone and in tears, and her husband drove away with Jade.

Since that moment, Cat had been sitting on the living room couch, facing the direction of the door, yet staring at her hands. Her tiny body shook with silent sobs that broke her mother's heart.

"Sweetie," her mother cooed. Her voice was like she was afraid of stepping on a landmine. "You want some tea, or some warm milk?"

Cat didn't speak. She simply shook her head no and her mother sighed and returned to the kitchen.

Cat's eyes were focused on her hands. Her tanned fingers were shaking. Palms were sweaty. She watched as black tear drops fell against her skin, pooling together and then sliding over the tops of her hands and onto her bobbing knees.

Black makeup stained with mascara that she was positive was running down her face as a physical sign of the internal turmoil she felt.

Her front door opened and her father stepped in. Cat's eyes quickly shot up to him and he sighed.

"Catarina." She saw him take her in, making her realize what a disheveled mess she must look like.

"How is she?" Cat asked. She tried to keep her voice strong though it wavered with tears.

"She was just starting to come to when I was closing the door to her room. She'll be fine," he assured. He took a seat on the couch next to his daughter. "I'm more worried about you. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Cat admitted. "But I'm fine. Can I go see her?"

Mr. Valentine furrowed his eyebrows. "Catarina, why would you want to go see her?"

"To make sure that she's okay," she said, her tone saying that she thought the reason was obvious.

"After such an emotional ordeal like that, I would think that maybe you should take a break and really think this through. You felt threatened and-"

"No," Cat interrupted. "I didn't feel threatened at all. I didn't call you because I was scared for me. I called because I was scared for Jade." Her voice grew stronger and began to waver more, but now with a different kind of emotion in it. No longer was it tears that laced her words. Now it was what Cat could only describe as anger; an emotion she did not often feel.

"Catarina, I know that you are emotionally attached to her. But let's be realistic. You met her a little more than a week ago. And while, yes, the two of you have been spending quite a bit of time together, I think it's a bit ignorant to think that you understand the complexity of the situation."

Cat stood up and looked down at her father. "Oh, so now I'm too stupid to get what's going on? I'm too stupid to understand that she had a seriously terrible life and that she did some horrible things because of it, and that the whole situation screwed with her head?"

Catarina's mother came back from the kitchen and stood in the doorway and just watched her daughter. Cat never yelled, and Cat never spoke like that.

Mr. Valentine noticed it too. "You've changed Catarina. Both you and Jade. And while I'm glad to say that you have changed her for the better, I'm beginning to think that she was a very negative influence on you."

Cat stared at him wide-eyed. "Negative influence? Why? Because I'm telling you what I think?"

"No. Because you're acting very out of character. You're raising your voice. You're becoming angry and hostile, much like her."

Cat shook her head and held out an arm in front of her, pointing to prove her point. "No," she said, her voice firm and strong. "You know what this is? _This_ is not anger or hostility. This is called _knowing_ what you believe and standing up for that. And I'm just so incredibly _sorry_ if you have a _problem_ with me standing behind what I believe." The sarcasm dripped from her every word, and somewhere in the back of her mind, Cat registered that Jade would have been proud to have heard it.

Mr. Valentine shook his head. "Sweetie, you know that's not true. I encourage you every day to stand up for yourself and fight for what you believe in."

"Yeah," Cat snorted, "Until the day where what I believe in is different than what you believe in." Cat turned on her heel and walked past her mother and up the stairs into her room.

Mr. Valentine just looked at the empty staircase and flinched at the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut.

Mr. Valentines eyes moved over towards his wife. She sighed and moved closer to the couch, taking a seat beside him and snuggling into his side.

"Would you hate me if I told you I'm with her on this one?" she asked.

Mr. Valentine glanced down at her eyes. Cat had her mother's eyes; large doe eyes of chocolate brown that were warm and inviting. "Why's that?"

"It's just that we always tell Cat to be herself and do her own thing. You know that we've got a unique little snowflake on our hands. We shouldn't be surprised that she's going after something she's passionate about. That's what we've raised her to do."

"But what if she's wrong? What if she's just going to get hurt?"

"Getting hurt is just a part of living your life. We can't protect her from everything."

Cat saw down on her bed and slammed her face into a pillow, sobbing loudly. At first she barely noticed it, but when she took a deep breath after a long crying fit, her senses were filled with a smell that was very Jade. Cat realized that she was curled into the pillow that Jade was laying on not too long ago.

Jade always smelled the same to Cat. It was strong, and almost masculine, but with a delicate hint of flowers tickling the edges of Cat's senses.

She lay there with her eyes closed for what seemed like forever, focusing on the comforting repetition of her breathing. Her eyes were startled open by a single delicate knock on her door.

"Sweetie." Her mom's voice could be heard from the hallway. "Can I come in?"

A few seconds passed before Cat spoke. "Yeah." Her voice was broken and raspy. She reached over towards her night stand for a tissue and wiped at her face, noting the fact that the tissue was colored with makeup.

The door opened slowly and her mother walked in and frowned at the sight of her daughter. "Oh Catarina," she sighed. She took a seat on the bed next to her daughter and opened up her arms.

Cat buried herself in her mother and just began to sob again. Her mother's hand traced soothing circles on her back and whispered sweet, reassuring nothings in her ear until Cat's sobbing dwindled to the occasional emotional hiccup.

"You really care about her," her mother whispered. "Jade."

Cat nodded. "A lot."

"Does Jade know how you feel about her?"

Cat looked up and frowned at her mother. She and her mother were close. Cat was close with both of her parents. They protected their little girl from everything they could, and Cat knew that their love for her was completely unconditional. But Cat never spoke to her mom about boys. Cat's relationships, while never secret, weren't a typical conversational topic.

The thought that the conversation was going to make the jump to talking about Cat's feelings for _Jade_ made her stomach erupt in nerves.

"It's okay if you have feelings for her," her mother assured. "It won't make me love you any less. You need to know that."

Cat nodded and snuggled back up against her mother, melting into the comforting embrace. "She knows," Cat whispered. "But I mean, _I_ don't even know what it is I feel. I just know that I feel _something._ That's why it's so hard to hear the things Daddy says about her. I know I may not have known Jade for years and years, but it _feels_ like I have."

Cat's mother nodded. "Sweetie, you just need to realize that your father loves you. That's why he's so apprehensive of you being around Jade. He sees you as that little baby girl that he held in his arms at the hospital for the first time eighteen years ago. You will always be that little bundle of pink blankets that he held close to his heart. You've grown up, and he accepts that, but he still wants to do everything he can to protect you. And the fact that he knows better than anyone else about what's going on in Jade's mind makes him scared for you."

"But I know she won't hurt me, Mommy. I know that she would never hurt me. I don't know how I know it, but I _do. _In my gut, I know that with her, I'm safe. And I try to tell him, but he's stubborn and won't believe me."

"I believe you, Catarina." Cat pulled apart from her mother and sat with her legs crossed, looking at her with a confused frown.

"You do?" Cat's voice raised in question and her mother chuckled.

"I just met Jadelyn this morning. She is polite. She is well-mannered. She speaks so eloquently and has such big dreams for herself. But more than that, I saw the way she smiled when you walked into the room. I saw the way her eyes were glued to you that entire morning in the kitchen. I know that she loves you."

Cat smiled weakly. "Do you think Daddy knows that I like her?"

Cat's mother laughed. "Sweetie, your father is a man. Men don't know how to read clues like that even when a giant sign slaps them in the face. Believe me. He's picked up on nothing."

Cat giggled and hugged her mother. "Thank you, Mommy."

Cat's mother held her daughter close and whispered in her ear. "My keys are sitting on the kitchen counter. Don't say anything to your father when you leave. Take my car, and we'll pick yours up from the park."

It took Cat a moment to realize what her mother was implying, but when the realization hit, Cat was flying down the stairs and out the door, barely even pausing to shoot her hand out to grab the keys before she was in her mother's car and backing out of the driveway.

Cat drove on autopilot, smiling at the guard when he saw her pull into the faculty parking lot.

She walked in through the door and Brittany, the nurse at the table, looked up at her and smiled. "Catarina. You here without your father?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling. "I'm just here to pick something up real quick. He's super busy with some paperwork."

Brittany smiled as Cat walked away. Cat's heart was pounding in her chest. She wasn't one to ever lie, but this was an exception she was going to have to make.

The hallways were now committed to her memory. Left, right, right, left, right, third door on her right hand side. Cat paused outside the whiteness, staring at the doorknob and willing it open.

She pushed herself up onto her toes to peek in through the glass window and her eyes focused on the head of tussled soft black curls sitting in the corner. Jade was on her bed, her head bowed down as she wrote in a notebook.

Cat delicately tapped on the glass window just once, and Jade's eyes immediately snapped up. Cat saw anger. She saw fear. She saw every negative emotion she could possibly think of the name for and some that were undefined.

Their eyes remained locked on each other for what felt like a century before Jade closed the book and stood up, crossing the room with the lethal grace of a panther until she stood in front of the door. She didn't say a word.

"Can we talk?" Cat asked, her voice small and mousy.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong," Jade snapped, "but I believe that's exactly what we're doing."

Cat rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

Jade's harsh glare stayed on Cat for a few moments longer before she turned and reached under her mattress and then returned to the door. Cat heard faint clicking sounds and then the door opened.

"Get in," Jade said, grabbing onto Cat's forearm and shutting the door behind them.

Cat watched as Jade went back to her bed and took a seat in the corner.

"Jade," Cat started, but she didn't finish her thought.

"You look like crap," Jade said bluntly. "You've got makeup everywhere."

"I know," Cat said. "I didn't really have time to fix myself up before I came over here. I wanted to get out the door before my dad asked me where I was going."

Jade's eyebrow quirked up. "You came here without your dad? Why?"

"To talk to you," Cat said. "I care about you Jade."

"You shouldn't." Jade's voice stung like ice.

"But Jade, I-"

"No." Jade stood up and took a step closer to Cat, towering over the petite redhead. "Whatever you think you feel for me, it'll pass. You shouldn't like me. You shouldn't love me. You'll get over these false emotions. I don't_ want_ you to love me."

Cat felt the familiar physical feel of crying tugging at her face and she was surprised that she wasn't all out of tears for the day.

"But, why?" she sniffled.

"Because I'm a monster," Jade said. "You're an angel. You'll love me with all your heart, always and forever after if I let you, but I could never love you back the same."

Cat shook her head fiercely and grabbed for both of Jade's hands and took them in her own trembling fingers.

"That's not true, Jade," Cat said. Her voice shook with a mixture of tears and pure determination. "I know that's not true, and you know it too. Now you're just saying things to make me go away."

Cat saw unrecognizable emotions flicker behind Jade's eyes before she pulled her pale hands away from Cat's and turned her head. "Yeah," she snapped. "So why are you still here?"

Jade went back to her little corner of the bed and pulled her notebook back on her lap, eyes glued to the page. Cat watched the girl for a few seconds longer before heading out the door, biting her lower lip to stop herself from completely breaking down right then and there. She quietly shut the door and hurried down the hallway, completely ignoring Brittany's concerned comments as she ran back to the car.

It took every ounce of strength within Jade to not run out of her room and chase Cat down the halls, but she knew it was for Cat's own good. Instead, she swallowed the words she wanted to say and watched as her falling tears blurred the inked words on the pages in her lap.

* * *

**Rather then ending this chapter with my usual commentary, i'd rather share a little something i found and thought was fitting:**

_**"I myself am entirely made of flaws stitched together with good intentions."**_

_**-Augusten Burroughs**_

**Take of that what you wish**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks again to all who are reading :)**

**So, for the most part, the chapters had been written with a big focus on Cat and her thouhts through all of this, so this is going to be a very Jade-centric chapter.**

**Also, i included a charactor i made up that's loosely based on someone (you know who you are :) ), but this isn't one of the Victorious charactors. this charactor is my little creation and is the only thing i actually own in this story besides the plot haha**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Jade sat in her room with her head in the notebook. Her hand swiftly danced across the pages as words flew from her pen.

The door opened and a nurse walked in with a tray of food. "Jade," she said, carefully stepping into the room and leaving the door wide open behind her.

Jade knew why they did that. They didn't want to risk the chance that the door will be shut when Jade decides to go on a murderous rampage. They didn't want to risk the chance that the nurse wouldn't be able to get around to opening the door fast enough to save her life.

Jade didn't look up at the sound of her voice.

"Jade," the nurse said again. "I have your food." She waited for a response from Jade, but the darker girl didn't even move. The nurse set the tray of food down on a small table beside the bed.

"Jade. It's been three days since you've left this room. Wouldn't you rather go eat breakfast with the other kids?"

Jade snorted, but still never looked up. "Why would I want to go out there?" she asked. Her voice was monotone and dark.

"Because socialization is healthy."

Jade's head lifted slowly, eyes digging deep into those of the nurse. Jade smiled when the nurse recoiled ever so slightly. Even the nurse was afraid of her.

"You think it would be healthy for me to go socialize with a bunch of crazy people?"

"Yeah, Jade," the nurse said. "I actually think it would be. In fact," the nurse picked the tray back up. "Come with me. You're going to the cafeteria to eat breakfast with everyone else like a normal person."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly normal. If I was, I wouldn't be locked up in a mental hospital."

The nurse didn't say anything. She just eyed Jade expectantly until the dark haired girl huffed in annoyance as she shut her notebook and stood up.

"Fine," she said. "I'll go. But I'm doing this because I want to. Not because you told me to."

Jade regretted the decision.

She had gotten her food from the breakfast buffet and sat down at the only empty table. She managed to eat a piece of buttered toast and was fully content with just sitting there and pushing her food from one side of the plate to the other.

"Hey." Jade looked up and looked into the bright hazel eyes of a girl she vaguely recognized. She had seen her around once or twice and heard a bit about her past (word does travel pretty quickly in a place like this), but had never really spoken to her.

Obviously, this girl didn't know Jade either, or else she wouldn't be standing in front of Jade's table, trying to start a conversation.

Jade looked back down at her plate. Maybe if she ignores it, it'll go away.

But Jade was having no such luck. The girl's brown wavy hair shined in the florescent lighting of the cafeteria as she plopped her tray down opposite of Jade and took a seat. Jade's eyes moved past her slightly to where she saw Beck and his friends sitting, staring at them. Beck was smiling, knowing very well that Jade isn't too big a fan of people.

"You're Jade, right?" the girl asked. She waited for a moment for Jade to answer. But, when she didn't, the girl continued with her happy attitude.

It was really starting to piss Jade off.

"I'm Lou Anne," she said.

Jade laughed "Where are you from? Hicksville Idaho?"

The girl shook her head, grin never leaving her face. "Oregon."

Jade looked back down at her plate. "Close enough," she mumbled.

"So what's got you all down?" Lou Anne asked. Jade lifted the large mug of coffee to her lips and took a long sip, savoring the bitter taste on her tongue.

The girl shook her head, grin never leaving her face. "Oregon."

Jade looked back down at her plate. "Close enough," she mumbled.

"So what's got you all down?" Lou Anne asked. Jade lifted the large mug of coffee to her lips and took a long sip, savoring the bitter taste on her tongue.

"Why do you care?" Jade snapped.

The girl shrugged and took a forkful of her eggs. "Just thought you looked a little sad. Maybe you wanted someone to talk to. Not that I'm making you talk. I just… I thought."

"And if I did want to talk, why would I ever want to talk to you?"

"Because I'm a stranger," she said simply. "There's no strings. I'm not someone you're going to see every day for the rest of your life. You don't even know me."

"That's not true," Jade said with a smirk. "I know quite a bit about you. I know that your child life sucked. I know that your parents were attached to the bottle and you bounced around to different houses for a while. I've heard you scream at night and then looked out the tiny window on my door as I watched the nurses hurry into your room."

Jade watched as the grin faltered, but didn't disappear. "Okay," the girl said. "So you know me a little bit. But that doesn't mean I'm not a stranger. Tell me your problem."

Jade took another sip of coffee, deciding she was officially done with her food. Besides, if Jade could, she would live off coffee.

A comfortable silence passed between the two of them before Jade spoke again. "It's a relationship thing."

Lou Anne nodded. "And you ended it because you're in here?"

Jade's eyes flickered with pain. "You know why I'm in here, Oregon? It's because I'm a killer."

Lou Anne's expression changed from a grin to a pensive pout. "Does this person care?"

Jade thought about Cat. Cat didn't care at all. But, Cat was so innocent. Whenever she did anything, she just had this light in her eyes that made it obvious that childhood dreams, imagination, and wonder all still live inside of her. Cat can feel things that left Jade so long ago that she could barely recognize them. Jade wasn't innocent. She was a convict. A mentally unstable convict.

"No," Jade said. "She doesn't care."

"So why did you end it?"

"Because I know that I'll hurt her."

"A relationship is about trust," Lou Anne said. She opened her mouth to say something else, but Jade shook her head.

"Nuh-uh," she said. "If you're gonna go all Doctor Phil on me right now, this conversation is over. Goodbye."

A second of silence passed, and Jade was expecting this girl to pick up her tray and head to another table. The last thing Jade was expecting was for her to start talking again.

"A relationship is about trust," she repeated. Jade didn't raise her eyes. She dipped the tip of her index finger in her hot coffee, swirling around the black liquid. But Lou Anne kept talking.

"That's what makes them scary. You're basically entering an emotional state where you're giving this other person all the power in the world to rip you to pieces and leave you as an emotionless shell of a person laying on the ground. But you're trusting them not to. If this girl trusts that you won't hurt her, then shouldn't that be enough?"

Jade sensed the girl stand up and pick up her tray. When Jade knew that the girl had walked a couple steps away, she looked up. "Oregon," she called.

She watched the girl turn around and look Jade in the eye. She looked so normal. She was in jeans and a white t-shirt, her hair loose and down past her shoulders. Her grin remained glued on her face even though Jade heard the nurses whispers of "PTSD" and "foster homes" and "her mother died." But the girl stayed happy.

Jade nodded her head slightly. "You're alright."

Honestly, that was as close to a compliment as the girl was going to get, and she seemed to accept it when her grin became bigger and she walked out of sight.

When the whistle blew that breakfast was over, Jade groaned. She quickly drank the rest of the coffee and left all of her things on the table before heading out the door to her next session with Dr. Valentine.

This wasn't Jade's first session with him since the _"_incident"_, _but that first session was just as uncomfortable as she was expecting this one to be. She stepped into his office and took a seat on the plush red couch thinking how lucky she was that she only has to meet with him a couple times a week.

Their conversation always seemed to clearly avoid that day. There was no mention of his daughter. Everything was very proper and uncomfortable.

"Jade," he said. "It's nice to see you outside your room. I was just getting ready to go down there to see you."

Jade shrugged. "Just thought it was time for a change of scenery."

He nodded and smiled weakly. "So, I was actually wondering if we could talk about your father."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "My father? Why?" He had come up in conversation before, but Jade always made an effort to not spend more words on him than she needed to. He wasn't her favorite person in the world.

"I just thought that since you obviously have quite a bit of pent up anger from your childhood that it's be cathartic for you to express what you had experienced and how it made you feel. Maybe for you to get a grasp about whether his actions changed you."

Jade rolled up her right sleeve to her elbow. "You see this tat?" she asked. Dr. Valentine looked down at the pink and black star on her forearm.

"Yes. It's a star."

She rolled her eyes. "It's a nautical star. It has a lot of meanings, but one of them is that it symbolizes a person finding their own way in life. My father is the inspiration behind this tattoo."

Dr. Valentine nodded and leaned back in his chair. "How's that?"

"He hates me," Jade said. "He always had. From the moment my mother died, he had seen me as a disappointment. I wasn't the son that he lost. I was a girl. I was goth. I dyed my hair. I pierced my face. I wanted to be a _writer_, and not a doctor or a lawyer or some god-awful thing he wanted from me. I had _dreams_."

"And your father didn't want you to follow your dreams? Most parents raise their children with the hope that their children will follow their dreams and become successful."

"He did want for me to be successful. But only as long as my dreams were his dreams. The moment I said that I wanted to be a writer, my dreams became insignificant."

Mr. Valentine's thoughts wandered back to a conversation he had had with his own daughter not too long ago.

Is this how his Catarina was feeling?

"How did he express his disappointment in you?" he asked, trying to clear his mind of the personal things and instead focus on the patient in front of him.

"You wanna ask that to the scar on my back from where he whipped me with a belt so hard that it sliced though my skin?"

Dr. Valentine looked at her sympathetically. "Yes. You've mentioned the physical abuse before. But beyond that, what else?"

Jade shrugged. "He ignored me. He never went to any of my theatre productions in school. He never heard me sing in the choir. He refused to pay for my piano lessons. I had to get jobs babysitting. _Babysitting_. Can you imagine_ me_ with _children_?"

Dr. Valentine chuckled. "I'm sure that was interesting."

"Damn straight it was. But it's what I did for the money to pay the instructor. And every day I would have to lie to him about where I was when I went to practice. I told him that I joined the soccer team, telling him it was good exercise and that it would look good on my college applications."

"He approved of you playing soccer?"

"He said that maybe running up and down the field would get rid of my fat rolls." Jade grumbled. "It didn't matter anyway. I knew that he wasn't going to ever attend a single one of the soccer games to cheer me on."

Dr. Valentine nodded. "And how do you think this has affected you in life?"

Jade stayed quiet for a while. "I guess… it gave me trust issues or whatever." Her voice was harsh and with an edge. Dr. Valentine knew very well that asking Jade to speak openly about her emotions was difficult and that responses like this were as good as he was going to get.

"So you've found it difficult to express yourself to anyone because you think that they'll be as disappointed with you as your father is," he stated.

Jade looked him straight in the eye. "You know that's not true. I opened up to your daughter."

That's it. She finally acknowledged the giant elephant in the room. Little miss sunshine, Catarina Valentine.

Dr. Valentine cleared his throat and continued for the sake of professionalism. "And what was it about her that made you feel comfortable enough to show that side of yourself?"

"She didn't give me the option," Jade chuckled. "She pushed against every single wall that I was building up around myself until she found a way around them."

Dr. Valentine nodded. That did sound like his Catarina. "So you think that by my being more insisting that you share more about yourself, that will encourage you to do so?"

"No," Jade stated. "It probably wouldn't. I opened up to Cat because she's Cat. And don't bother asking me to explain it further because she's your daughter and you know _exactly_ what I mean."

The little buzzer on Dr. Valentine's desk rang, signaling the end of the session. Jade stood up and started to walk out the door.

"Jade," he called, just as the tips of her black hair were about to turn out of sight and down the hall. A second passed before she stepped back into the door frame.

"Yeah?"

He sighed. "I know that I am your doctor. I am your psychologist. But beyond that, I am Catarina's father first. So, abandoning my job title, I just wanted to tell you that I understand."

Jade's face contorted into a confused expression. "Yeah? Well I sure as hell don't _understand_ what you're talking about."

"I understand why you felt the need to say the things that you said to Cat. I'm not saying that I completely agree with the fact that you broke my baby girl's heart, but I know why you did it. I know that you love her enough to find it within yourself to let her go."

Jade thought for a moment. "How is she?"

"Broken."

Jade didn't say another word before turning on her heel and heading back into the safety of her room, taking out her notebook and just writing.

* * *

**Sad Jade. Sad Cat. **

**But reviews make me happy :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, sorry that it took me a bit longer to update than usual. this chapter was giving me some issues. like, i knew exactly what i wanted to happen, but the words weren't coming to me. and when you add an uncooperative chapter with the rest of the things you have to do on a daily basis, you seem to run out of time.**

**This chapter actually switches about a fourth of the way through from Cat's point of view to Jade's. It's still not in the first person, but it sorta lets you see things from their point of view. I think the content of this chapter is something that a lot of people have been anticipating, so i hope you all like it.**

**And there is a song in this chapter, so the** _italics_ **will indicate the singing.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

That next Friday, Cat got out of school later than she usually does. She was at a meeting regarding her school's annual talent showcase. Cat has looked forward to it every single year, and being that now she's halfway through her senior year, she can't wait. It's been the only positive thing on her mind for a while now.

She drove up to her house and walked in through the front door to see her mother on the phone.

"Yes, of course," her mother said. "I will talk to her about it. Thank you for contacting me." She hung up the phone and looked at her daughter as Cat hung up her bright red jacket in the hall closet.

"Whaty?" she asked.

"I just got off the phone with your guidance counselor," her mother explained. "Apparently, this morning, you wrote your name down on your history test and just sat there for forty-two minutes without answering a single question and handed in a blank sheet of paper. Also, you haven't handed in a single homework assignment in the last five days."

Five days. Plus the weekend, that made it seven days since Cat last saw Jade. Seven days since the green eyed girl broke her to pieces.

"I understand that you're going through… something," her mother said carefully. Cat winced at her words. "But that doesn't mean that you can just blow off everything in your life right now, Catarina. You can't get one bad event dictate how you live your life from that point on. You can't just shut off."

"I haven't shut off," Cat argued. "I'm doing the talent showcase next week."

Cat's mother crossed her arms. "Because that's fun for you and you want to do it. But what about the things like your school work? What about the things you _need_ to do. You're going to college soon, Cat. You need to start placing your applications. It doesn't look good if you put no effort into school whatsoever."

"I know," Cat squeaked, looking down at the ground shyly. "I'll talk to Mr. Hendrickson about if I can retake that test."

"Thank you," her mother said. Ms. Valentine walked over to her daughter and wrapped the petite girl in a hug.

"So about that showcase," her mother asked. "What do you think you're going to perform?"

* * *

Tuesday afternoon Jade closed her notebook and sat down on her bed, looking at the door. It was almost time for one of her nurses to come in. Jade knew that she could just walk out the door if she wanted to. The nurses knew that Jade had somehow figured out a way to unlock her door, but Jade didn't do that more than she needed to.

She knew the importance of getting on the nurses' good side.

Sure enough, the door opened slowly and her usual nurse smiled. "Good afternoon Jade."

"I want to eat lunch in the cafeteria," Jade said, standing up from her bed and already walking to the door.

The nurse looked at her in surprise. "Oh, uh- okay. Yes. That sounds like a good idea."

Jade walked past her and headed through the halls and to the caf. If she didn't already know where it was, the loud sounds of the patients would have surely led her there.

She filled her tray with food and then scanned the cafeteria in search of a familiar face. When she spotted him, she walked over to the table and sat down.

All eyes were on her and no one was saying a word as she just began to eat her food, avoiding eye contact.

"Hello Jade," Beck said. "You gonna start eating in the cafeteria with us again?"

"Until you start pissing me off again."

Trina laughed. "You make it sound like we're the reason you've been skipping out on meals for the past week."

"Yeah," Robbie said. "We all know it has to do with a little redhead."

Jade's eyes snapped towards him. He squeaked in fear and quickly averted his eyes down to his plate in front of him.

"You need to chill out Jade," Beck said. "I know you're naturally a little high strung, but you're really starting to push the limit."

A silence fell over the table as everyone continued eating. Andre's voice quietly floated actoss the table and to Jade's ear.

"Have you talked with her since?"

Jade was surprised Andre even said anything. The whole reason he was in the hospital was because he had crippling anxiety. Sometimes, he was perfectly fine. And then, it's like the tiniest thing could set him off into a panic. He could see his own reflection and scream because he thinks it's a stranger who is out to get him.

"No," Jade said coldly. "I haven't."

"But you've spoken with Dr. V," Trina stated. "She ever come up in conversation?"

"You know what?" Jade yelled. She stood up suddenly, surprising everyone at the table and getting the attention of some people around them. "When did this turn into a game of twenty fucking questions?" She turned around and stormed out of the cafeteria.

She turned corners sharply and blindly until she collided with another body, sending both her and the other person to the ground.

"Watch it!" she spat as she got back on her feet. She looked down to see a very shaken Tori looking up at her.

Jade would never admit it, but she always pitied the girl. She was beautiful, but she didn't see it. Tori always tried making herself look perfect, when that's what made her sick. Now, she looked like nothing more than a sunken skeleton. She looked like Jade could snap her in two without even breaking a sweat.

"Sorry," Tori said, standing back up. "Where are you hurrying off to?"

"My room." Jade crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. She hadn't realized how loudly her heart had been beating until she tried to focus on her breathing. It was near impossible.

"You okay?" Tori asked, genuine concern in her eyes. "You're breathing funny."

"I'm fine," Jade said. She wasn't. It felt like the world was spinning around her. She separated herself from the wall and took two steps forward before she felt herself losing balance. A quick pair of arms were out to brace her.

"Those twig arms gonna hold me up?" Jade asked dryly, finding herself out of breath.

Tori smirked at the insult. "I'm actually more surprised that you haven't ripped them from my body since I'm touching you without permission."

Jade's heart continued to beat fast and her chest began heaving with her breathing. "I'm making an exception. Now help me to my room before I change my mind and end you."

Tori rolled her eyes, but she helped Jade down three hallways until they reached her isolation room. Jade opened the door and allowed Tori to help her lay down on the bed. It was shocking that they didn't run into any nurses, but Jade knew that there was someone watching the video cameras of the hallways, so someone somewhere knew of Jade's situation and Tori helping her.

"So what happened in the lunch room that made you run out of there like that?" Tori asked. She took a seat on the very edge of Jade's bed on the opposite side of where the darker girl sat.

Jade shook her head. "Shapiro said something dumb."

"He mentioned Cat?"

Jade's eyes hardened like they had in the cafeteria. The difference was, Tori didn't back down. She left her eyes locked on Jade's like she wasn't afraid.

Jade didn't say anything, so Tori continued.

"It's obvious that you miss her. You two had something special. I don't even think you realize how amazed she was by you."

"Amazed?"

"Yeah," Tori said. "That first day, I saw her in the art room. She sat down and drew your eyes. They were amazing, Jade. Perfect and expressive and everything like you. And she had me show her the way to the music room to find you. She heard everyone say terrible things about you, but that didn't stop her."

Jade sighed. "I really wish people would just stop fucking talking about her like I've lost her."

"Haven't you, Jade? You let her go, and I don't see you doing anything to get her back."

Jade didn't say anything, and Tori couldn't think of anything else to say. They sat like that in silence until someone knocked on their door.

"Jade," Doctor Valentine said. He glanced over at the other girl. "Hello Victoria."

"Hey Doctor V," she smiled. She looked back and forth between him and Jade before saying, "I should probably get going."

When she was out of the room, Doctor Valentine shut the door and looked at Jade. "One of the nurses contacted me. She said she saw you in the hallway almost falling over and needing Miss Vega's help to get to your room."

"I'm fine," Jade mumbled. "Just got a little dizzy. No need for a medic."

Dr. Valentine nodded and eyed the girl for a little while longer. She looked up at him confused.

"Is there something else?" she asked. Her voice hinted at annoyance.

"Actually, yes," he admitted. "This Friday, I am going to sign you out again."

She furrowed her brows and sat up completely. "Why?"

He sighed and tried to collect his thoughts. "Catarina is participating in the talent showcase at her school."

Jade grumbled and rolled her eyes. "And she wants me there."

"No, actually." Jade looked back up at him. "She has no idea that I'm asking you to come with me. And I won't tell her in advance."

She shook her head. "I don't get it. Why are you taking me then? You never approved of me hanging out with your daughter."

"Because I've heard her practicing," he admitted. "And I've heard her song, and I think it's something that you should hear."

"Okay," Jade whispered. "I'll come with you on Friday. She won't know I'm going to be there?"

"No," he assured. "She won't know."

The rest of the week was rather painful for Jade. She tried to get on with her normal day-to-day things, but her mind kept floating to the thought that she was going to see Cat.

It had been way too long for Jade's liking, and the very thought of looking into Cat's brown eyes and seeing the adorable little dimple on the redhead's left cheek gave Jade butterflies.

When Friday finally rolled around, she got dressed in a flowy black shirt, a black skirt and a pair of grey lace tights with her favorite pair of combat boots. She was brushing her hair when Dr. Valentine came into her room.

"Six pm on the dot," Jade mused.

Dr. Valentine laughed as he held the door open for Jade and they walked down the hall together. "I like a precise schedule. It makes my job easier knowing that I'm not rushing, never late, and that I always have enough time to do the things I need to do."

Jade remained silent while he filled out some paperwork at the nurses' desk. One of the nurses handed Jade a jacket and she took it with a quizzical look in her eye.

"It's pretty chilly out there," Dr. Valentine admitted. "I was looking through your belongings and noticed that you didn't have any actual jackets with you, so I asked one of the nurses to go out and buy one in your size. I hope it's to your liking."

Jade slipped on the black peacoat and buttoned it shut. "It's fine," she said softly. "Thank you."

"Great," he said with a smile. "Lets go."

"Don't wanna be _late_ now, do we," Jade said sarcastically. Dr. Valentine laughed full heartedly as they stepped into the windy air and headed towards the car.

Jade was quiet on the car ride to Cat's school, and Mr. Valentine didn't say much either. The only sound in the car was some talk show on the radio and the soft hum of the engine.

When they pulled into the parking lot, Mr. Valentine walked to the other side of the car to let Jade out. "My wife drove Cat here about forty-five minutes ago, because she needed to be here early. So, Cat won't see you. But my wife is saving two seats for the two of us."

Jade nodded and the two walked towards the front door. "I still don't get why you invited me here," she admitted as they stepped into the large auditorium. Ms. Valentine waved at them from a distance.

"Because of the song Cat is singing. I think it's something that you need to hear."

They waved their way through the seats until they reached Ms. Valentine. "Jade," she said with a warm smile. She opened her arms and wrapped the pale girl into a hug before Jade could protest. "It's good to see you." Jade caught Mr. Valentine's eye over Ms. Valentine's shoulder and saw his amused expression at Jade accepting the embrace.

"Good to see you too," Jade said. Ms. Valentine pulled away and smiled.

"Kay, lets have a seat. The show is going to start soon."

Within five minutes, the curtain rose. Jade was surprised at the level of talent in the school. There were wonderful singers, a pianist that brought the audience to their feet, and even a rock band that had Jade thinking about how successful they were going to be one day. Jade found herself laughing out loud along with the Valentines at a stand-up comedy routine by some kid named Jack.

For a while, Jade had forgotten why she was here. She was just enjoying the show and the company of the Valentines. When a voice came over the microphone introducing "the vocal stylings of a Miss Catarina Valentine," the butterflies returned to Jade's stomach.

She watched as Cat stepped through the curtains and up to the microphone. Her bright red hair sparkled in the spotlight. Behind her, a small band formed. One boy wheeled out a drum set and took a seat while a guy with a guitar strapped to his back helped another wheel out a black baby grand piano.

"Hi," Cat said into the microphone. Jade felt a twist in her gut at the sound of Cat's perfectly pure voice.

"I'm Cat Valentine," she continued. "And these are my good friends Mark, Cory and Devin. They're gonna help me out with the music. So, enjoy."

A few notes were played on the guitar before the piano joined in and Cat's voice began to echo through the auditorium.

_"Take a breath._

_I pull myself together. _

_Just another step until I reach the door._

_You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you._

_I wish that I could tell you something_

_To take it all away."_

The guitar grew louder and the drums joined in as Cat's voice grew stronger.

_"Sometimes I wish I could save you,_

_And there's so many things that I want you to know._

_I won't give up till it's over._

_If it takes you forever, I want you to know."_

Jade found herself staring at the petite girl. IT was as if every single word was being sung directly to her. A video montage played in the depths of Jade's mind of every moment she spent with Cat, starting with that first day at the piano, to the kiss on the rooftop, and the day Jade broke Cat to pieces in the hospital.

_"And no matter what I do, I can't make you feel better._

_If only I could find an answer_

_To help me understand."_

Jade could sense Mr. Valentine looking at her from the corner of her eye, but she remained focused on Cat's ever movement.

_"I won't give up till it's over._

_If it takes you forever, I want you to know_

_That if you fall, stumble down,_

_I'll pick you up off the ground."_

Jade watched the emotion in Cat's face as she closed her eyes and let tears escape through and shine in the spotlight against her tanned skin.

_"If you lose faith in you,_

_I'll give you strength to pull through._

_Tell me you won't five up, because I'll be waiting if you fall._

_Oh you know I'll be there for you."_

Jade didn't even realize it when tears began to escape through her own eyes, but she didn't dare look away from Cat.

_"And there's so many things that I want you to know._

_I won't give up til it's over._

_If it takes you forever I want you to know."_

Cat's voice died down to a tiny whisper and she opened her eyes, staring into the space above the audience's heads. Jade saw the tiny black streaks of tear trails running down Cat's cheeks as she sang out the last line.

_"I wish I could save you"_.

The audience rose to their feet and applauded loudly, but Jade found herself still sitting down, watching as Cat smiled widely and wiped at the tears settled on her cheeks.

"Thanks so much," Cat said with a smile. "And give it up to my amazing band!" The applause grew louder as Cat grabbed her guitar player's hand and together they bowed.

They walked off the stage together and the audience settled down.

Jade suddenly saw a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers being placed in her lap. She looked up and saw Ms. Valentine's warm eyes.

"Go find her," she said.

Jade didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed the bouquet and hurried out the door, almost tripping a few times over chairs and feet in her rush.

She realized that she had no idea where to find Cat, but walked to where she would assume the backstage area of the stage would be.

"Jade?"

Jade stopped in her tracks at the sound of the sweet voice. She spin around and saw Cat down the hall. The redhead walked faster over to her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Jade found herself caught in how beautiful Cat looked. It didn't even compare to how she was up on that stage.

Jade held the flowers out in front of her and Cat smiled.

"You were incredible," Jade said. "Your song. Did you…"

"Did I mean it?" Cat asked.

Jade simply nodded. Cat placed the bouquet of flowers on the ground at her feet and took both of Jade's hands in hers, and Jade realized how she had missed the warmth of Cat's touch.

"I meant every single word of it."

Jade quickly leaned in and captured Cat's lips in her own. The fireworks she felt that first day up on the roof were back, and Jade felt like she was falling in love with Cat all over again.

Jade pulled away enough so that their lips parted, but they were still close together. She wrapped Cat up in a hug and held the petite girl close to her.

"I'm scared," Jade admitted. "I'm scared of hurting you. It's what I do. I hurt people. But I don't want to hurt you."

Cat pulled from Jade's embrace and looked up at the green eyes she fell I love with. "You hurt me by leaving me."

"But I'm afraid of how much more it will hurt if you fall in love with me."

"Jade," Cat said with a smile. "It's a bit too late for that." She lifted herself up on her tiptoes and kissed Jade again. "I've already fallen in love with you," she mumbled against the taller girl's lips.

* * *

**When the two get together, it's like all is right in the world again**

**The song is "Save You," by Simple Plan.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry again for how long it took. the end of a story is always the hardest for me. i'm thinking another three chapters or so, and i'm just trying to wrap everything nice all nicely and smoothly and in a way that makes sense and doesn't leave out any important chunks of information. so, if there is more time between updates, i give my sincerest appologies, but its just me trying to ensure perfection, and that this story doesn't end up going on for ten years ((which i'm sure some of you wouldn't mind haha))**

**enjoy :)**

* * *

After the performance, Cat's parents drove back together in Mr. Valentine's car and Cat used her mother's car to drive Jade back to the hospital. But, the two girls decided to take the scenic route. They just had too much to talk about.

They sat in the car in almost total silence, with nothing more than the quiet chords of random songs playing over the radio and the soothing hum of the engine roaring beneath them. Night had fallen long ago and stars twinkled in the sky above them as Cat drove further and further from the lights of the city.

Jade didn't ask questions. She was just happy to be around Cat again. She had thought she could handle being without the redhead. She thought that she was making the right choice for both herself and Cat by letting the sweet girl go. Jade never expected to feel as if she was being torn in two. She never expected this energetic smiling bundle of glittery rainbows to make Jade so happy that losing her felt like dying.

Cat drove the car to a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. Jade looked ahead of her and did not see a single light ahead of her. Cat turned on the high beams to illuminate the road.

"I hope you know where you're going," Jade said suddenly, disrupting the silence of the car. The amusement was evident in her voice. "You've told me that you're not exactly direction savvy."

"Trust me," Cat said.

Trust. That was such an insane concept to Jade. Trust is difficult. It can take a lifetime to earn. Yet, people throw it around so freely. They ask you to trust them when they wouldn't trust you. Trust is the most important part of your life because it essentially is having blind faith.

Jade had been hurt too many times to be able to trust so freely. She trusted her brother to be her big brother and take care of her and always be there for her. She trusted her mother to be strong and gentle and to be Jade's rock whenever things went wrong. She trusted her father to be her protector and her superhero.

Every person Jade ever trusted has let her down.

She looked out in front of her and saw the lights exposing the sandy desert around them. In the distance, Jade saw the silhouettes of rocks lying in the shadows of the night.

Cat turned off the road and the car bumped and jumped slightly with the rocky terrain underneath it. Jade glanced into the side mirror and saw the bright lights of the city in the horizon far behind them, shrinking smaller with every passing moment.

Jade wasn't going to say that she was without nerves. This is Cat; the bubbly redhead who sometimes acts like she's free of the burdens of the world. This is the girl who was protected and loved. The girl whose own naivety may be the very thing that even drew her close to the danger that was Jade. The girl who admittedly wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

But Jade was willing to try something new.

She was willing to try to trust Cat.

The car pulled to a stop and Cat shut off the engine. She opened the door and Jade watched as she walked to the front of the car and jumped onto the hood. Cat lay down on her back.

"What are you doing?" Jade laughed.

Cat didn't say anything. A few quiet moments passed and Jade internally shrugged before she climbed out the car door and perched herself beside Cat.

It was when she looked up that she saw it.

Growing up so close to the city, Jade never saw the sky in its entirety. She never got the chance to see the clusters of tiny stars scattered in every direction. She saw a couple stars, sure, but nothing like the breathtaking immensity of the night sky that she saw now. She gasped at the sight.

"I know," Cat whispered. Her quiet voice seemed appropriate given the vastness of the world around them. "Sometimes I just come out here to think. I guess it's just like you with the roof. I love coming out here and just getting away from the lights and the noise every so often."

Jade shifted onto her side and looked at Cat while she spoke, but Cat's eyes remained on the sky.

"Don't get me wrong," Cat continued. "I love the city. I love everything about the city. But when I have a problem or there's something on my mind, I always drive out here. It makes you realize how huge the world really is, and it makes you feel so small. And then, your problems are tiny in comparison, and it makes you realize that your problems aren't really problems at all."

"Is that why you brought me out here?" Jade asked. "For me to think about my problems?"

"Kinda," Cat admitted. "I thought that maybe you'd be more comfortable talking about your feelings if you felt alone. That way, it's like there is no one watching; no one judging."

"My feelings?" Jade snorted. "Why?"

"Because talking about feelings helps."

Jade paused.

"But I'm not good with feelings," she said. "I never have been. It's not like I don't _have_ them, like most people think. I just think that they're overwhelming. I'd rather hide everything than have to deal with all the consequences that come along with _feeling_."

"But when you hide things, it makes people think that you're heartless and cold."

Jade shook her head. "People like me, the people who wear masks aren't cold at all. We feel so much and so _strong_ that we need to hide it before our feelings just take over. They're a defense mechanism."

Cat nodded. "My daddy once told me that sometimes, the most fragile hearts are the ones that need the most guarding."

Jade sighed and turned so she was staring back at the stars. Cat was right. Or, her father was right, rather. But the fact that the words came from Cat's mouth like pure poetry struck a chord within Jade.

Every moment that the two spend together now just reminds her of every moment that they spend apart. And, it makes Jade think that she had let go of her just a bit too easily and that the reason that everything felt wrong was because she's Jade and she's Cat and Jade's only ever felt whole when they were together.

"You could just let it out," Cat said, sitting up and crossing her legs.

"What do you mean?"

"Scream." Jade saw Cat's eyes twinkling in the moonlight.

"Scream?" Jade sat up as well. "Why?"

Cat shrugged. "It's cathartic. It'll make you feel better. And we're out in the middle of the desert. No one will be able to hear you."

Silence fell over the two girls again. Jade watched as Cat's eyes seemed to dig into a deep part of Jade's soul. A vulnerable and very dark place that Jade had buried under walls and walls of self-protection.

Jade felt a scream beginning to build up inside of her, clawing violently at the walls of her throat. It began as a low grumble, gradually building up into a screeching crescendo. She shut her eyes and just _felt_, exactly like Cat wanted her to do.

Jade's throat burned with each passing second, but she didn't stop until she was at a loss of breath. Her insides felt like they were on fire and her chest heaved as she tried to control her air intake once again.

Cat scooted over closer to Jade and snuggled up against the taller girl. She gently left a trail of kisses along Jade's jaw, down to her neck and collar bone. Cat's kisses were like secrets on Jade's skin that the redhead had inscribed with invisible ink; secret promises of love and trust and everything that Jade was starting to learn again.

Cat placed a final kiss on Jade's lips and then snuggled even closer, and Jade absentmindedly stroked the red velvet hair.

"Thank you, Kitty," Jade said. "For bringing me out here."

There was a moment of silence and Jade felt Cat's lips form a smile against her shoulder. Cat pulled away just enough to look Jade in the eye.

"You called me kitty."

Jade thought of something to say, but she was coming up blank. Had she really referred to the girl as kitty?

Cat smiled wider and rested her head against Jade once again. "I like it," she whispered. Jade smiled and closed her eyes, resting her face in Cat's red hair and breathing in her intoxicating scent.

"How can you just forgive me like this?" Jade asked. She felt Cat shift in her arms slightly, but the shorter girl did not look up.

"Because I get it. I know why you did it. You're afraid of being loved, because you're afraid of hurting the people you love."

The two girls remained silent for the next hour as they watched the stars above their heads. Catarina yawned and Jade decided it was time for her to go back to the hospital so that Cat could go home and get some rest.

"Will I see you soon?" Jade asked as she climbed out the car door. She looked at the large brick building to her left. It was both her penitentiary and her safe-haven.

"Of course," Cat said with a smile. Jade shut the door and watched as Cat blew her a kiss through the glass window before driving away.

When Cat pulled up to her own house and walked in through the front door, she was surprised to see the light on in the living room and her father sitting on the couch. It was close to being eleven at night.

"Daddy," Cat said. "What are you still doing up?"

"Did you have fun with Jade?"

"Yeah," Cat said with a smile. "I did. I really like her, daddy."

Mr. Valentine nodded, and Cat saw pain in his eyes. "I didn't do what I did to allow the two of you to get together," he admitted. "I did it because I saw how broken up you were and how pained she was, and I just wanted to see if the two of you could mend things. I never intended for a relationship to blossom from that."

Cat frowned. "Do you not approve, or something?"

He shook his head. "She broke your heart to pieces, but you still love her. She could do a little Irish jig over the broken pieces of your heart, and you would just pick it right up off the floor and hand it back to her. You do realize that she is going to hurt you again, right? That's what people like her do. They hurt people."

"People like her?" Cat said with a frown. "No daddy. I've hurt her more."

"You didn't do anything to her. When she does it again, remember that I had warned you."

"She's not going to hurt me!" Cat's voice trembled as it grew to almost being a yell. "Jade is not a monster!"

"Yes she is, Catarina!" Mr. Valentine got up off the couch and towered over his petite daughter. "You know what she did to those girls. You _know_. What more proof do you need to convince yourself that she is a terrible person?"

Cat paused and just looked at her father. She knew that he was trying to protect her, but against the wrong thing. Cat lowered her voice back to her normal level. "A monster doesn't know that they're a monster."

Mr. Valentine furrowed his brow. "What?"

"A monster isn't sad about the things they do. A monster doesn't regret their actions afterwards. A monster doesn't make themselves strong enough to leave the girl that they love because they're afraid of hurting someone they care about."

Mr. Valentine shook his head. "Catarina, that's not possible. Jade is incapable of feeling any of those things. I've spoken with her hundreds of times since she was admitted."

"Just because you spoke with her doesn't mean that she ever really _talked_ to you. Not about the truth. Not about how she feels. Jade is funny like that."

Seconds passed between the two of them and Cat could almost see the gears working inside her father's head. "You mean to tell me that Jace said that she felt those things? And you think that she's being honest?"

"Yeah," Cat said. "What difference does it make?"

"Catarina. It means that Jade can _feel_."

* * *

**So, i don't know is i truly like the way i wrote it. in my head, i always had it that the reason that Mr. Valentine had even pegged Jade as being a psychopath is because she didn't show any remorse for her actions or any type of real feelings. But, the reason that she didn't was because she was too afraid to and she just didn't trust him enough to expose that part of her to him. probably could have been written out better, but oh well.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**So, this chapter is really the one that ties up all major loose ends. most unanswered questioned are answered here, and i seriously hope i didn't leave anything unanswered. i really love the way this story has turned out, and i'm extreamly excited with how many of you guys liked it as well. this story will obviously hold a very special place in my heart being that it's my first Cade story, my first Victorious story, and just such a popular story in general. i love reading your comments and knowing that i've written something that so many people actually look forward to me updating and being able to read the next chunk of my writing.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Jade was lying back in her bed, blankly staring at the blackened ceiling in front of her. If she tried hard enough, she could still see stars against a blackened sky. Her entire body relaxed with the thought of floating through the infinite universe above her. The sound of hurried footsteps caught her attention, but she didn't focus on it too much. It wasn't uncommon for nurses to run after the patients at all hours of the day when someone decides to have a mental breakdown.

But when Jade's door quickly swung open, she instantly sat up on her bed. Squinting against the bright hallway lights, she could make out two silhouettes.

"Dr. Valentine? Cat?" she questioned. "What are you guys doing here?"

Dr. Valentine flipped on the light switch and Jade shut her eyes tightly, mumbling curses under her breath. "You're not a psychopath, are you."

It didn't sound like a question to Jade; more like an accusation. She fought against the light and saw the equally as accusing look being thrown her way.

"What do you mean?" she challenged. "I'm here aren't I?"

"Yes. You are here because you've convinced me and a jury of 12 that you were mentally unstable. But that's not true at all, is it? You do feel guilty for the murders. You see where you went wrong. You're not emotionless. What you are is a great actress."

Jade looked over at Cat. The small girl was standing beside her father with both questions and apologies in her eyes.

"Of course I'm crazy," Jade said. She looked down at her hands. "I guess I'm just not as crazy as you thought I was. But it doesn't make me sane. I'm still a… a killer."

"Jade," Dr. Valentine sighed. "Why? Why have you been lying for the past nine months?"

"Because I didn't want to fucking talk to you about my _feelings_ and crap!" she yelled. "You're my doctor, not my friend. You didn't try to figure me out before labeling me as a nutjob. If you didn't even bother to do that, why the fuck would I even give you the chance to doubt what you already thought you knew about me? If you think I'm crazy, then fuck. I'll be crazy. At least it'll save me from going to prison."

"Is that it?" he asked. "You played your cards right because you'd rather be here than in jail?"

Jade rolled her eyes and looked down at her hands, resting in her lap. "This shit hole is better than being locked up behind bars. At least here, I have some sense of freedom."

Mr. Valentine sighed and placed a hand over his eyes. "Jade."

"What?" she snapped. "I mean, it's not like I'm sane. I watched both my brother and my mother fall down a path of self-destruction and literally throw their lives away. My father hates me and blames me for everything that has ever gone wrong in his life and smacks me around just to prove a point. I grew up _unloved_. And you, Mr. Psychology-Man, know what that does to a child. It sets them up for a royally fucked up life. A life where they can't handle their own emotions, so they rather just shut off. A life where they can't even form a stable relationship because they're afraid they'll hurt someone they love. A life where every little fucking thing pisses you off so much that you snap and stab three girls over and over again until they stop screaming and you have their blood dripping from your clothes. Doesn't that make me fucked up enough to be locked up in this place?"

"Jade, you are aware that had any of this been said during your court trial, you wouldn't be here. You'd be in prison. Yes, what you've gone through is unfortunate, and there is definitely a huge amount of emotional scaring that needs to be fixed, but you're not emotionally unstable enough to plead insanity to a triple homicide. Being that I am your doctor, I have every ethical reason to tell the system the truth."

Jade shook her head. "Of course you could, but you and I both know that that won't do anything. It won't change what's already been done." She smirked. "It's the beauty of the legal system."

Cat frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Dr. Valentine sighed again. "The legal system protects her from having her sentence changed. Once you've been found not guilty by reason of insanity, you can't withdraw the defense to pursue an alternative."

"So even if Jade told people she wasn't crazy, she still wouldn't go to jail?"

Jade nodded. "That's right."

"So the question is," Dr. Valentine started, "what am I to do about this?"

Jade thought for a moment. "What do you think you _should _do?"

He paused from a second. "As your psychiatrist, I would want to notify authorities of your withholding pertinent personal information regarding your case, and work on figuring out how to release you back into society without having to fear that you will hurt someone again."

Jade nodded. "And _not_ as my shrink?"

"I have known you for a year and a half now. I have been seeing you from the moment your trial began, all the way up until today. I have seen firsthand how you've changed even if you haven't been completely honest with me. I've seen you show kindness to my daughter. I've seen you feel guilt and sorrow and true pain for your actions. I don't think you're a monster, Jade. I think you need help. You've made a mistake, and I think that your emotional struggles are behind it, but I don't think that you're such a terrible person that you deserve to be behind bars for the rest of your life. Though your actions are far from being forgivable, it's fair to say that you can move on from that low point of your life."

Cat shook her head. "What does that mean, daddy? What's going to happen to Jade?"

"She will remain here in the hospital. After our next session, I will speak with the hospital board about your situation and tell them that I think you are progressing. I will tell them that in my professional opinion, it is safe for you to leave the hospital, given that you return once a week for sessions with me. You won't be able to leave right away, but in a few months' time, I definitely see it as a possibility."

"Okay," Jade said. "And what about Cat and I?"

Cat turned and faced her father. "Daddy," she said softly, "are you okay with Jade and I dating?"

"No," he said. "To be honest, I'm not."

Cat's face crumpled into a mess of emotions and Jade began to feel rage surge through her body. She clenched her fists at her sides and just stared at the man.

"But," he continued, "you two work. Catarina, you've brought out a soft, vulnerable side that I think even she forgot existed. Jade, you've caused Catarina to be more independent and more willing to stand up for the things she believed in. You two are good for each other, but I'm not okay with you guys having a relationship."

"Because she's a girl?" Cat asked.

"No," Jade scoffed, "it's because of what I've done."

"Neither," he said. "It's because Catarina is my baby girl, and I will do anything in my power to protect her. I don't care if Prince William himself approached me and asked to court you. I wouldn't be okay with you being in any serious relationship."

Cat smiled. "But…"

He returned her grin and said, "But the independence Jade has brought you means that you'll stick with what you feel is right and you'll continue to date Jade, even without my approval."

Cat ran up to her father and enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you thank you thank you!" she said. She turned her head and looked at Jade, non-verbally telling Jade to come join in on a group hug.

"No thanks," Jade laughed. "I'm good. I can feel the love from here."

* * *

A week and a half later, Dr. Valentine tells the hospital board about Jade's "transformation." They're doubtful at first, and they ask her to undergo a complete psych evaluation by a different doctor. Jade pulls out her acting tricks and acts trusting. She tells him her fears when she is asked. She tells him about her horribly painful childhood and even manages a tear or two.

Jade understands that so much of her future is riding on this evaluation.

And, she passes with flying colors.

From then on, things changed a bit for her. Jade was given more freedom than she was before, but under close scrutiny. It was like the doctors wanted to give her the freedoms that were granted to the other patients, but they wanted to be close enough to be able to sniff out a problem the moment that there is one.

Jade eats all her meals in the cafeteria. She is allowed to be in the lounge and the art room with the other patients. She was even given the option to switch into a normal bedroom, but she wanted her isolation room. Partly, because it gave her much more privacy than one of the rooms with a transparent door. But also, because that bedroom became her home.

When you've spent the past nine months seeing the same four walls, and sleeping on the same lumpy cot, they grow on you. Jade couldn't imagine moving somewhere else.

Jade sat with Beck's friends during their meals. At first, they weren't all too welcoming. Beck was of course, because he and Jade always had a sort of connection. Trina was just… Trina. She had never feared Jade to begin with. Robbie and Andre were still a bit weary of the darker addition to their table, but Jade hadn't made either of them cry yet, so that was a good sign.

Another week after Jade started joining in on group meals, Tori joined them in the lunch room.

"Well, would you lookie here," Jade commented as a nervous looking Tori took a seat beside them. On her tray, she had an apple and a peanut butter sandwich. "Look who's joining us today."

Tori was expecting Jade to say something, but Jade never mentioned her anorexia. That was a line that was never crossed. Even Jade had boundaries. It's why she never mocked Trina for her baldness and why she never gawked at Beck's scars.

"Yeah," Tori said. "Doctor V. suggested that maybe I could try eating with you guys here. He thought I was ready to start eating in public, even if it is just around friends."

"I'm not your friend," Jade quipped, stabbing at her salad with a fork.

Trina elbowed Tori and smiled. "I'm proud of you baby sis."

Jade was going to comment when a tanned set of hands suddenly blocked her vision. "Guess who," a familiar voice chirped. Jade smiled.

That was another perk. Ever since things changed for Jade, Cat was able to visit more often. She didn't need to wait for her father to bring her to work with him. Cat could come and visit Jade whenever she wanted. And, because Cat was the daughter of the hospital's most prestiged psychologist, she was given special visitor's access to things that other visitors wouldn't; such as being able to eat with the patients in the cafeteria.

"Hey Cat," Beck said with a smile. Cat swung around and took a seat directly beside Jade, their shoulders touching. Cat noticed that Jade still stiffened at unexpected touches, but she didn't freak out with Cat anymore. Cat was growing on her.

"Hey Kitty," she said. "How was school?"

"Great. I finally got my grade up in math class. I'm doing well."

"That's great," Jade said with a smile. Tori was glad to see Jade smile. Though Tori didn't know all of the details, word spreads fast in a place like the hospital. Most everyone knows about everyone's past, and Tori knew that Jade did not have it easy. Tori knew that Jade lost many people who were close to her and that the only people left in her life hurt her terribly. She was glad to see that Jade had found someone like Cat who would love her unconditionally.

"I actually have a little bit of a surprise for you," Cat said with a wide grin. "My dad told me last night, and I asked him if I could be the one to give you the good news."

"What's the news?" Trina asked, her eyes bright with the thought of fresh gossip.

"Well, you know how it's been almost three weeks since Jade and I had that talk with my dad," Cat said. "He has been talking with the hospital board about your change in 'diagnosis' as he called it, and the board has approved that you do a final consultation with them where they can sorta assess you and give you a definite on when you can get out."

Jade's eyes opened wide and she looked at Cat. "Seriously?"

"Wow," Robbie said. "That's amazing, Jade. You're getting out of here."

Jade looked around at the strange group of friends she had made. Every single one of them was in this hospital for reasons similar to her own. They all had something go wrong in their lives. Beck's severe depression, Tori's anorexia, Trina's hair pulling, Andre's anxiety, and Robbie's…. whatever the fuck is wrong with that kid.

But Jade was finally being given the chance to escape the fate that she had always accepted as being permanent. Dr. Valentine had explained to her on multiple occasions that she wasn't free forever. She needed to have sessions with him weekly, but she wasn't going to live in a padded cell for the rest of her life like she had so readily accepted.

Jade should have felt happy about it, but she didn't. The very idea of leaving this place scared her. The world outside Jade's padded room was unpredictable, and the one outside of the hospital was damn near horrifying. There was no guarantee that the storm would cease once she gets out of here. With Jade's luck, things will probably just get harder.

Jade's chest begins to tighten and she finds it hard to breathe. She uses all of her acting techniques to try to just keep herself calm to the point that no one could sense her inner battle, but leave it to Catarina Valentine to look to her with worried eyes. Jade tried to wordlessly convey to Cat that she was fine, but Cat wasn't having it.

The little redhead leans in close to Jade, and she could almost hear the taller girl's heartbeat. "You wanna get out of here?" Cat whispers in her ear. Jade nods and the two head out of the cafeteria.

"Where are they going?" Andre asks, watching the girls turn a corner.

"Probably the roof," Beck says, taking a sip of soda.

"What?!" Robbie exclaimed. His voice rose with a level of panic. "The roof? Are they planning on jumping?"

"Of course not," Beck laughed. "That's just Jade's thinking place." He took another sip of soda and paused to think for a moment. "Although, I did have to stop Jade from jumping once, like four months ago."

Trina shook her head. "Well, I for one am happy. I've never seen Jade smile like she does when she's around Cat."

* * *

Jade leaned against the cool concrete wall overlooking the cityscape, and Cat's eyes were fixed on hers. She thought about everything she's learned of Jade. Those green eyes told stories. First, there was fear and panic. Then, painful memories. Every single negative thing that Jade had thrown at her, Cat had countered with promises and smiles.

In turn, Jade opened up. She talked to Cat. She let Cat comfort her and see her cry. Jade had kissed her. Jade had laughed.

Cat could remember perfectly that first time that she saw Jade _truly_ laugh, and how that permanent smile disappeared and how carefree and happy the brunette looked.

"You okay?" Cat asked. Jade didn't turn around to respond.

"Fucking horrified," she answered. Cat moved so that she was standing beside Jade. It made Cat's heart ache to thing that this smart, beautiful, misunderstood girl was so torn up about something that was supposed to be good for her.

"I'm sorry," Cat said. "I thought it was going to be good news. I didn't want it to make you sad."

Jade sighed and ran a hand through her hair, raven curls tumbling over her pale porcelain skin as she turned to face Cat.

"It is good news," she said. "But I'm just thinking of what happens after."

"What do you mean?"

"Right now, I'm here. But the moment I leave, then what? I don't have a home. I don't have a family who is waiting for me to get out. I don't have a father who loves me. I don't have any sense of stability outside of these four walls. Where would I go? I got so used to this comforting hell that the very thought of being released into the real world makes me want to shit my pants."

Cat shook her head and took Jade by the hands. "We'll think of something," she said. "I'll ask my dad, and he'll help me think of something, even if the only solution is you moving in with me."

Jade chuckled. "Move in with you? I don't know if you've realized, but I'm screwed up. I don't think you know what you'd be getting yourself into if you invited me as a houseguest."

Catarina smiled. "I never said it was going to be easy. But I'm willing to rough it out if you are. Besides, I might be more screwed up than I seem."

Jade furrowed her eyebrows. "How so?"

"I fell in love with you, didn't I?

Jade rolled her eyes, but smirked as Cat leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

**Unfortunatly, all good things must come to an end, and i see the next chapter as being the end to this story., and there may possibly be an epilogue. i haven't quite decided yet. **

**i just wanted to say again that i love every single one of you who have read, followed, commented or favorited this story. it really means so much to me.**

**i already have an idea in my head of another Cade story that i wanted to work on, so i'm going to be playing with that idea for a while to see just how well i can make it work, but i love hearing from you guys. if you guys have any stories you'd want to see written ot have any prompts or ideas for me, let me know! send me a PM with ideas and i'll go through them and see which ones i think that i can work with. **

**So yeah, just one more chapter of Those Green Eyes, coming within the next couple of days.**

**Reviews make me smile :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here it is. The last chapter. I feel like a proud mama watching her baby grow up haha. I've decided against an epilogue, because i like where this ends, and i feel like it's the perfect closing.**

**I guess i just wanted to take this time to explain a few things that i realize i hadn't even adressed. This fic required me to do a crapload of research about how the system works and about a whole bunch of issues, because i'm no doctor, and i don't know. And, while i have written a lot of facts that i researched heavily, i don't doubt that there are some things that i have gotten wrong, simply because i am not an expert.**

**also, i know that Dr. Valentine isn't exactly a very ethical doctor, but i think i need to make it clear that i never meant for him to be seen as a perfect person. he is just as flawed at his patients. He allows his paternal need to obsessivly protect his daughter from the world to cloud his judgement, and eventually his professional practice. he is not meant to be the perfect parent. that role i wanted to be played by Cat's mother. so i know that doctors are supposed to keep their personal lives out of their professional careers, but i took the poetic liberty of turning him into a _real person_, because real people have biases, even when they wish to be completely fair and not judgemental.**

**So, yeah. The last chapter.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

Eighteen months. The final verdict. Jade didn't understand.

A week after Cat gave her the news, Jade's favorite redhead showed up at the foot of Jade's bed holding a garment bag and a box of shoes in her outstretched arms.

"Here," she said. "Get dressed. Your board meeting is in three hours."

The meeting was in a sense, a blur to Jade. She answered questions when she was asked, and she told them about herself. She pled her case. At one point, Jade shed a tear, which wasn't something she was too fond of doing in front of other people.

But, the doctors, a lawyer, and a judge of sorts heard her out and decided that she was clear of her insanity charge.

But she still had to pay for the crime she committed, and that would be the next eighteen months in this hospital.

It was a start. It was a definite date of her release.

Jade was torn about how she felt. She should be happy. She should be jumping up and down in the air, laughing with ecstatic joy (even though Jade would _never_ do anything like that). But there was a part of her that felt like she was going to pee her pants in sheer terror.

The _world_ was out there. And people. She was so disconnected from the outside world that the idea of being thrust back into it seemed unreal. It felt like an animal that was raised in captivity and was used to that for so long that when it was released into the wild, it didn't know how to take care of itself anymore. It was helpless.

Though Jade would never admit it, she felt helpless.

For the next few months, life flew by her, and Cat had put a calendar in Jade's room that had a running count of how many days were left.

Only 547.

Nurses treated her differently. She was granted more freedoms. She spent time with her friends. But, her friends were starting to get released, and their little group began to dwindle.

* * *

With 501 days left, Jade said goodbye to Andre. He had been in the hospital for close to six months, dealing with horrible anxiety and panic attacks, but he has been doing so much better over the last two months that the doctors decided he was ready to go home and return to his normal life.

Jade stood back and watched as everyone said goodbye. Being locked away for so long, she never grew as close to the group as everyone else had, even though she associated herself as being a part of them.

Tori had filled out more. She was still very thin, but she no longer looked sickly and frail. She had a permanent spot at their table in the cafeteria. And even though she doesn't eat that much, Jade can see that she is trying. When Andre pulls the Latina into his arms to say goodbye, Tori tears up.

"Thank you," she said. She pulled away and put her hands on Andre's shoulder. "For being a good friend. For listening when I talk. For being there for me."

Andre laughed lightly, but it sounded like he was holding back tears. "Woah there, chica. Don't make this sound like a goodbye. It's a 'see you later'. You can't get rid of me that easy."

Tori smiled. Trina came over and gave him a hug too. A few weeks ago, she shaved her head bald. Jade was surprised, but didn't say anything. The older Vega still wore her extravagant head scarves.

Today was different. When Jade saw Trina sitting in the cafeteria for breakfast, there was no scarf. Instead, there was a short fuzz of brown hair over her head.

Beck walked over and extended a bare arm to Andre, moving in to shake his hand. Jade's eyes trailed over Beck's forearm. It wasn't until recently that Beck shed the long sleeves and began to wear t-shirts again. Jade still saw the discomfort from time to time when he knew that other people saw the mean red lines across his skin, but all he did was clench his jaw and continue with what he was doing.

"Nuh-uh," Andre said, and pulled Beck into a manly hug. Beck laughed and pulled away, giving Andre a playful punch in the shoulder.

"Really gonna miss you, man," he said. "When I get out of here, we're hanging out."

"Deal," Andre laughed. Robbie said his awkward goodbyes as well. Jade didn't like admitting that she was in the dark about something, but she never quite understood what exactly it was that Robbie was admitted for. She heard many things, from bipolar, to sex addict, to multiple personalities, but nothing that ever seemed plausible, and frankly, Jade didn't care enough to ask him.

After their goodbyes, Andre turned to her. "You'll be okay," he said. Jade furrowed her eyebrows and he continued.

"You're a bitch," he said. "A royal bitch who really needs to work on building a verbal filter. But you've got people. You feel like you don't but you do. Most importantly, you've got Cat. Don't let her go. Ever. Hold on to her tight and give her your everything, because you know that she was give you her everything in return."

For a moment, Jade didn't say anything. Her face was unreadable, but a grin slowly began to play at the corners of her lips. Rolling her eyes, she said, "You know, that was probably just repulsive enough to be the sweetest thing any of you have ever said to me."

Andre grinned and picked up the bag at his feet. "Guess this is goodbye," he said, and headed out the official hospital door to where the front office room was. Through the glass window on the door, she saw a woman with a resemblance to Andre stand up from her chair and hug him, eyes filled with tears.

Jade turned away and walked towards the music room.

* * *

With 430 days left, Cat and Jade were sitting in Jade's room on the bed, surrounded by piles and piles of papers.

"You need to think about what's going to happen next," Cat said, shaking her head as she flipped through a college booklet. "I mean, I've already applied to about 15 schools and I'm waiting to hear back from them, and you haven't done anything."

"I've taken my SAT," Jade argued, throwing another pointless booklet on the floor. Cat brought over stacks and stacks of everything she could find, and Jade was trying to sort things into "Maybe", "Definitely Not" and "Possibility" piles.

The "definitely not" pile stopped being a pile and grew into a mountain while there were only a handful of options in either of the other two.

"Yeah," Cat said. "And you did fantastic. You got a 1920, Jade. That's _really_ good."

Jade shook her head. "But I don't have anything else. I missed high school, Cat. That part of my life never really had the chance to happen. My junior and senior year, the two most important years of high school, were spent in this room. I don't have extracurriculars or anything like that. All I have is an SAT score and a great essay."

Cat shrugged. "But you're awesome, Jadey. You'll be amazing."

Jade sighed and threw another packet on the floor. When she looked where it landed, a picture caught her eye. She dug through the pile and took out a packet with a city skyline on the front. Tall buildings towered over everything. The lights reflected in the water of the river below it.

"Come to New York with me," Jade said suddenly. Cat's head snapped up.

"What?" she asked. Jade grinned at the comical expression of confusion on Cat's face.

"New York, New York," Jade said. "The Big Apple. You applied to schools there, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Cat said. "Like three, but my parents don't know. They think it's too far for me to go by myself."

"So you won't' go by yourself. I'll come with you. I'll apply to NYU, or Columbia, or something."

Cat put down the booklet she was looking at and crawled across the bed so she could look at the papers in Jade's hands.

"What would you want to study?" She asked.

Jade thought for a minute. "I'd probably be an English major. Do something with creative writing. Maybe minor in theatre."

Cat shook her head. "You can do that in LA. You want to write scripts. What better place than Hollywood?"

"New York," Jade said simply. "You said it yourself. New York and LA are both cities, but they couldn't be more different. New York is the place where dreams come true."

Cat thought for a minute. "I don't want you going to New York just because it's my dream. I want you to follow your dreams."

"My dream is to be happy, and I'm happiest when I'm with you."

Cat grinned and looked at the NYU pamphlet and the picture of three happy students having their picture taken in Times Square.

"You'll apply to other schools around here though too, right?" Cat asked.

* * *

With 387 days left, Jade watched the group say goodbye to Robbie, and three days later to Trina. What was once just a short fluff of hair became a cute short look, mirroring that of Audrey Hepburn. Jade would never vocalize how well it suited Trina.

Tears were shed as everyone said their goodbyes. Trina grew on the group. She was hard to get along with, but so was Jade. Trina was increidibly opinionated and liked to make her opinion heard. But, she was sweet, and behind her bitchiness, she cared.

Cat was there for this goodbye, and she probably cried more than anyone. Through random musings, she had told Jade about the conversation she had with Trina many months ago, and Jade knew that the two girls had grown close.

It tugged at Jade's heart to see Cat's lip quiver as tears fell down her tanned cheeks.

"You promise we can hang out?" Cat asked, clinging onto Trina once again.

Trina laughed and wiped at another stray tear, looking down at the shorter rehead. "I promise. Now stop crying. I'll see you soon."

Cat sniffled, but nodded, and moved to instead snuggle into Jade's side. Trina locked eyes with Jade and gave her a curt nod, which Jade returned.

It was a mutual understanding. They'd see each other soon. The nod was Trina's way of silently telling Jade that she better not do anything to hurt Cat. And, with a simple nod in return, Jade promised that she would never do such a thing.

The group watched as Tori smiled weakly at her older sister. "Doctors have been talking about me getting out of here soon, too," she said.

Trina nodded. "You've been looking good lil' sis. Really good. Healthier than I've seen you in years."

Tori smiled. "See you soon?" she asked.

Trina pulled her younger sister into a tight hug.

* * *

With 315 days left, Jade was surprised by an overly energetic redhead bouncing into her room, holding envelopes in her hand.

"The letters!" Cat squealed. "They came today!"

Jade felt her heartbeat quicken. After a few more conversations, Cat had convinced Jade to apply to a handful of schools. She had marked Cat's address as her own, and had been receiving acceptance letters over the past month. It was a relief to know that she had already gotten into some really good schools, but she hadn't heard from the school that mattered until now.

Cat handed Jade her envelope and her green eyes scanned the letters "NYU" printed in the top corner. She looked up at Cat, who was holding her own letter, and met her eyes.

"On three?" Jade asked. Cat nodded and counted down. When she reached three, both of them ripped at the envelopes and pulled out the letters. My eyes scanned the page, taking in the words. I looked up and met Cat's smiling brown eyes.

"You got in?" Jade asked. Cat nodded frantically.

"I got in!" Cat jumped up and down, smiling wide. Tears actually began to fall from her eyes in pure joy.

"Me too," Jade said. "I got in to NYU."

She giggled and launched herself at Jade, wrapping the taller girl tightly into her arms.

* * *

With 217 days to go, the ever dwindling group said goodbye to the other Vega. Where Cat had formed a bond with Trina, Jade and Tori shared their heart to hearts.

Jade was proud of her. She was glad to have been able to see the tiny skin-and-bones body that walked into the hospital change and become the smiling, healthy girl that was walking out. Clothes fit her better. Her eyes shined a little brighter. Her skin seemed a little tanner. Everything about her seemed to glow.

Jade surprised everyone when she walked over to Tori and pulled the girl into a tight hug. She felt Tori stiffen at first, and then melt into the embrace.

"You better call me when you get out of here," Tori whispered into Jade's ear. "We're all going to get together and throw you a huge party."

Jade smiled and pulled away. "Never thought I'd be getting out of this shit-hole, did you?"

Tori shrugged and mirrored Jade's grin. "I didn't think it was impossible," she admitted. "The only question was how long you'd be in here. But I never thought you were such a terrible person that you didn't deserve to live your life."

The door behind them opened and a smiling Trina walked in. Her hair now brushed gently against her shoulders, falling in loose waves.

"You ready little sis?"

Tori smiled at them one last time before disappearing through the door with Trina.

Jade turned around and looked at Beck. They were the only two left. "Looks like it's just you and me," Jade said with a bitter chuckle.

* * *

When there was only 158 days left, Dr. Valentine sighed Jade out of the hospital again. She and Cat spent the day in Cat's living room, watching TV and flipping through magazines. Cat had insisted that Jade find a way to "submerse herself in pop culture" so that she doesn't have too much of a culture shock when she's thrown into the world again.

Cat idly flipped through channels, not staying on one for longer than a few minutes before changing it to the next one.

Jade smiled. "I don't know how you expect me to absorb anything that's going on on television if you won't even let me watch a full TV show."

"Sorry," Cat said with a grin. She turned the TV off and climbed into Jade's lap, pulling the magazine from her hands.

"Hey!" Jade protested, but it was only halfheartedly as she instead placed her hands on Cat's thin waist.

"It's coming up so fast," Cat said, and Jade instantly knew that she was talking about the date of her release.

"I know."

"Are you excited?"

"I'm excited to be able to get to spend more time with you."

Cat bend backwards off the couch and towards the coffee table behind her as she trusted Jade's arms around her waist to keep her steady and secure as she did a full backbend, reaching for a notebook on the table.

Jade couldn't help but laugh. "What's that?" she asked.

Cat flipped through the pages before landing on the one she was looking for. "I made a list," Cat explained, showing the page to Jade.

There, in glittery pink gel-pens, was a list of at least 50 things to do in New York.

"Hide and Seek in the Toys R Us in Times Square," Jade read, "take the subway to a random spot and go exploring. Lunch in China Town." She looked back up at Cat. "What's with the list."

"This," Cat said, taking the notebook back in her hands, "is the complete list of all of the things I expect the two of us to do during our first month in New York. Like a bucket list, but without the dying."

Jade rolled her eyes and smiled. "So it's a definite then?" she asked. "We're going to New York."

Cat nodded.

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Your parents said yes?"

Cat took her bottom lip between her teeth. "I haven't really told them that I even got in," she admitted. "But I will. Soon. I just need to tell my mom, and she'll help me convince my dad. He's the real problem. You know how super protective he is over me."

Jade nodded. "Yeah. I know. But this is your life. No one knows what's best for you better than you do, and these are your decisions. Your dad needs to see that you've grown up. You get to make these choices, and live with the consequences. Both the good and the bad."

"Did you mention to him that you want to go to school in New York?"

Jade nodded. "In one of our sessions, we were talking about college, and I asked him if I went away to another state if he'd refer me to another psychologist or if he'd make me fly out to LA every week to see him. So, I told him I wanted to go to New York, and he said he'd start making phone calls to some of his psych friends on the east coast."

"Did he mention me?"

"No," Jade said. "But I could tell that he suspected. There was something in his eyes. He's just afraid of losing you, Kitty. He's your dad. He loves you. That's his job."

* * *

Jade was crossing off her reminder that she only had 98 days when she heard Dr. Valentine's voice outside her door.

"Sir," he said. "I'm going to need to ask you to stop right there or I'm going to call security. You don't have the authority to do this."

"Shut the fuck up and let me see her." The voice sent chills down Jade's spine. She wanted to think that she was imagining things, but then her door swung open and she was face to face with her father, and a very angry looking Dr. Valentine behind him.

"Dad," Jade whispered. Her father looked aged. His black hair had greyed and his blue eyes took on the color of a bad thunderstorm. His face looked worn and exhausted.

"Jadelyn." Jade internally cringed at the name. It just didn't quite sound the same as when Cat called her that.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "I haven't seen you since…" her voice trailed off.

"He shouldn't be here now either," Dr. Valentine reminded them. "Mr. West, you gave up custody of your daughter shortly after her trial, and now she is under state protection. You do not have guardianship of her anymore, and therefor do not have the visiting rights of a parent."

"It's fine," Jade said, never taking her eyes off her father. "Let him stay. He's here for a reason, and I want to hear what it is."

"Damn right you're going to listen to me," her father bellowed. Spit flew from his mouth as he angrily yelled and pointed his finger, but Jade didn't even flinch. "I heard that you're getting out of here you little bitch."

"How would you have heard that?" Dr. Valentine asked. "You're not her guardian, so you couldn't have-"

Jade's father turned to look at him. "Mind your own fucking business!" He turned back to look at Jade. Her eyes were stoic. "The point is, you're a filthy criminal." His voice rose with every word. "You're a dirty, disgusting human being. You're a killer, and a disappointment as a daughter."

Jade was just about to swallow her fear of her father when a head of bright red hair slowly peered around the door frame.

"Jadey?" Cat asked softly. Her pale pink skirt flowed as she gently stepped into the room.

Jade's father turned to face her, and Cat's eyes quickly turned to fear.

"Who the fuck are you?" He yelled. Cat instantly ran past the two men into the room and right at Jade, who protectively held the petite girl close to her. Jade wasn't exactly very big or very strong, but she had the lethal presence of a lioness, and that alone counted as adequate protection in Cat's mind.

"This is Cat," Jade said firmly. "My girlfriend."

Jade watched as her father's angry expression changed to confusion, realization, and then pure disgust and rage.

"You filthy _dyke_," he spat. Again, Jade didn't move, but she felt the small girl shudder at the word. "I knew that you were screwed up in the head. It makes perfect sense, now. You 're an abomination. Sleeping with women, killing innocent people. You-"

"Okay," Dr. Valentine finally interjected. "It's time for you to leave, Sir. You are doing absolutely nothing other than antagonize your daughter."

Two large men walked into the room and grabbed Jade's father by an arm and turned him around to escort him out of the room as he threw his head back in a deep laugh.

"That piece of shit stopped being my daughter a long time ago."

With nothing more an a few loud footsteps that disappeared in the vastness of the hallway, Jade's father disappeared. Dr. Valentine gave the two girls a sympathetic look. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but then decided against it and shut the door.

Jade placed a gentle kiss to the top of Cat's head and detached herself from thin tanned arms and climbed up on the bed, crawling into the corner and resting her back against the cool wall. She patted the space beside her and Cat climbed onto the bed as well, cuddling deeply against Jade's side as the taller girl pulled the blanket over them and cradled Cat in her arms.

Cat felt the warm wetness of tears against her skin and soaking through her shirt and sat with Jade as a silent comfort.

* * *

The day Beck was released, Jade still had 36 more to go. All of their friends were already gone, and Cat was on a class field trip to an art museum, so it was just Jade and Beck sitting in the TV lounge. He had his one bag sitting at his feet and they both blindly stared at the moving animated pictures on the screen as they waited for it to be Beck's time. Every so often, Jade would find her eyes shifting downward to the scars on Beck's arms. Some of them began to fade to white against his natural tan, but the majority remained angry red lines.

"You know, we never really talked," she said suddenly. She looked up and met his warm brown eyes. "You and I were probably in here the longest out of everyone, and we never really had a real conversation."

After a moment, Beck nodded. "I guess you're right."

"Yeah, and now, you're leaving, and soon I'm leaving, and everyone else is already gone. It's sorta surreal."

He turned himself so that he was facing Jade completely and gave her all of his attention. "Okay," he said. "Let's talk."

Jade smirked and turned herself so that she mirrored him, and Beck laughed.

"What?" she asked.

"That smirk." Jade raised a brow, but her lip remained cocked in that perfect smirk.

"It defines you," he explained. "Everything that I ever learned about you can be defined by that smirk. I can never be sure with what you're up to when you have that smirk on your face."

"You know, I don't think my girlfriend would be too happy with you trying to _woo_ me," Jade said. Her voice was frigid, but Beck saw the playful sparkle in her eyes.

"No," he laughed. "I'm not flirting. I'm just telling you the truth."

Jade rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever. So, how are we doing this?"

Beck shrugged. "Ask me a question."

"Why'd you start cutting?" Jade didn't miss the indistinguishable emotions that flashed behind Beck's eyes before they returned to their stoic strength. Jade hadn't realized just how similar she and Beck were.

"Wow," he said, smiling. "Going straight for the personal stuff, are we."

Jade shrugged and never broke eye contact. "I'm not one to beat around the bush," she exclaimed.

"Okay," he said with a deep breath. "I guess I started when I was in the 6th grade. My father is a well-known neurosurgeon and my mother is a big shot lawyer. My father spends basically all of his days at his hospital or at seminars or traveling to other hospitals to give consultations and second opinions, while my mother basically lives in her office. So, I live in a big house and all, but it was never really a _home._"

Jade nodded, that feeling being all too familiar to her.

"Anyway," he continued, "Grades started getting difficult for me and there was just so much pressure to be as wonderful and successful as my parents, but that's not something that I ever wanted to do. I wanted to be successful and important, but not in any way that my parents could understand. I felt like they ultimately were controlling my life and all my decisions, and I was grasping at anything I could to try to gain even a fraction of that control. So, what could I control? My body. And then the amount of alcohol I drank when I realized that myself harm wasn't giving me anymore control than what I started with."

Jade remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"My turn?" he asked, and Jade nodded once.

"What's your biggest fear?"

Jade paused and looked down at her lap in thought. "I'm afraid that I'll never be able to really fit into the world," she admitted, shocking herself that this was the secret she chose to reveal.

"When I was sentenced to being thrown into here," she continued, "I just kept doing the math. If they kept me here for five years, which honestly wouldn't be that long of a time for the crimes I committed, I'd be 24 by the time I got out. It's not a lifetime, but I just kept thinking about how much the world would change within those years, and how much I would change. But then, things started getting scarier because I realized that I _wasn't_ going to change. The world was going to change around me and I was going to be stuck in this state."

Jade looked up and met his eyes, seeing the way he carefully watched her as she spoke, as if he was trying to piece together a puzzle without looking at the picture on the box.

A nurse walked in to the room. "Beck," she said with a smile, "Your car has arrived."

"My mother and father?" he asked. Jade heard the hint of hope in his words.

The nurse shook her head. "No, but the driver is in the lobby waiting for you."

"Thank you," he said. "I'll be there in a second." With a final smile, the nurse left the room.

Beck stood up and picked up his one bag, and Jade stood up too.

"You're going to be okay," he said.

"I think so," Jade whispered. "I _hope_ so."

Beck grinned. "Those are two very different statements with two entirely different meanings."

"What are you, a fortune cookie?" Jade countered. "It doesn't matter what it means. It'd mean that I have hope, which is more than I could have said for myself two years ago."

Beck held his one arm out. It took Jade a moment to register that he was inviting her for a hug, and another moment to make up her mind about it. As she moved her feet closer and allowed him into her personal space, he smiled wider and placed a kiss on her raven-colored hair.

"And _that_," he explained, "is exactly why you're going to be okay."

* * *

Rather than cross off the last day off her calendar, she simply took the entire thing off the wall and threw it in the garbage can. She took a last look around her room. It was empty. Not that it had much in it before, but it had parts of Jade scattered around it.

It used to have sheet music on the walls, but now the white walls were bare. The sheets and the comforter were usually sprawled haphazardly on the cot that Jade called her bed, but now the bed was impeccably made. The closet was empty and every little thing that Jade ever claimed as her own now resided in the black and white pinstripe suitcase sitting in the doorway.

Every thing about this felt too final. The moment she stepped into the real world, the safety that this hospital gave her was gone.

"Knock knock," a gentle voice said behind her, and Jade turned around to see a smiling Cat.

"Hey," Jade greeted. She noticed the way Cat's eyes scanned the room. "It looks weird empty, doesn't it?"

"A little," Cat said. "But no worries. My mom spent all of yesterday preparing the guest room for you, and you can fill that room with all of your things."

"For the next four months," Jade corrected. "Because then we're going to New York."

Cat smiled and Jade found herself grinning at the redhead's adorable dimples. Cat extended an arm out to Jade, and Jade grabbed her suitcase before taking it and locking their fingers together.

As they walked through the hall, Jade caught the eye of a couple nurses, smiling at the unusual pair on their way out of the hospital. Jade filled out some paper work and the two stood in front of the main entrance. Jade found herself thinking about the finality of stepping outside those doors.

"You ready for this?" Cat whispered. She waited for Jade to nod before pushing the door open. Jade took two steps outside, feeling the warmth of the June sun on her skin.

She had been outside before. Cat's father had signed her out quite a few times, and Jade always loved sitting out on the roof with her notebook, but there was something about the sun now that Jade didn't feel before. Now, there was a level of liberation that made the sun just that much warmer in Jade's mind.

Cat gently squeezed her girlfriend's hand as she smiled and saw the way that the noonday sun reflected like liquid gold in those green eyes.


End file.
